Secrets Written in Ink
by DrarryLover4Ever
Summary: CHAPTER 17! Draco and Harry have identical journals. They write their innermost thoughts, but find someone else's entry in their journals the next day. Nothing specific is ever revealed until they begin writing at the same time. D/H pairing
1. Happy Birthday Harry

**A/N: As I said in my chapters that I posted yesterday I have posted the first chapter of a new story. The chapters will be shorter for the most part. I hope you enjoy it. This first chapter is rather angsty.  
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**Summary: This is about Draco and Harry having identical journals that they write their innermost thoughts in. They soon realize that what they are writing is not there in the morning, but someone else's journal entry is there. They never use names, only nicknames so it is hard for them to figure out who's entries are being written into their own journal. Eventually they are writing at the same time and begin conversing through the journals. Eventually they fall for each other.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, JK Rowling and Warner Brothers and all other affiliates.**

**Chapter 1: Happy Birthday Harry**

It was my first real birthday after the war. I was turning nineteen and nothing seemed to have gotten any better since my final year at Hogwarts. I was officially on my own living in a flat in the middle of Wizarding London. I wasn't ready to go back to Grimmauld yet nor was I sure if I'd ever be able to go back. There were too many memories, but I couldn't quite let go of the place or the memories. That had been an issue for all of seventh year, my real seventh year, technically eighth year if we are being specific. I was in my own world the entire time. Ron and Hermione were dating and my relationship with Ginny couldn't get back on track and we decided that it would be better to cut our losses and just be friends. It was better that way, for both of us. I was too messed up for her to get what she deserved out of a relationship.

I spent most of my days working at a bookstore with Hermione. It was just down the road from the Weasley's shop where Ron and George worked together. I had planned on becoming an auror and I was extended an immediate spot in the next training, but my head isn't in the right place right now for that so I declined the offer. Kingsley explained that when I was ready I had a spot. I appreciated it, but I didn't know if I would ever take him up on the offer.

My nights were a bit harder to navigate because I was alone a lot of the time which was okay for me, but it got my head thinking about things that one shouldn't think about when they're alone. I watched mindless TV, drank half a bottle of firewhiskey a night, and went to bed. Then I'd start all over again. I put on a happy face whenever I was around my friends. They were all moving on and happy so there was no reason for them to see me in my true state of despair.

I had a lot of people that I knew who lived in the same building as me. Neville lived two floors below and had a terrace filled with gardens. Ron and Hermione lived on my floor, in separate flats of course, but it seemed ridiculous since they were in each other's flats every day, often staying the night. Luna lived three floors above me and surprisingly Malfoy lived there as well. Of course he had a huge penthouse apartment on the top floor. I was surprised to see him when he moved in because I never expected him to live anywhere, but the Manor. I heard from Luna that he moved because it was too hard to be there. I found myself surprisingly pitying him. I couldn't imagine living in a house where the darkest wizard ever to live had set up camp and tortured and killed several people. I didn't see him much and when I did we were polite to one another and by polite I mean we nodded at one another and then went about our day. I had no idea what he was doing nowadays for a job or if he even worked. I never asked anyone about him though. I tried to push my occupation of Malfoy's life out of my head so I didn't end up getting sucked in like sixth year.

Even though we all lived in the same building I rarely saw any of them outside of work or within the building. They all had their own lives just like I did and it was okay that we didn't hang out, most of the time, but I could definitely use a distraction tonight. Tonight was a particularly bad night. Dennis Creevy had come into the store today to buy a gift for his father. His birthday was exactly a week after my own which Dennis shared with me excitedly. I had a hard time looking at him knowing that his brother had died essentially for me. It didn't make sense how forgiving his parents were. It was almost as if I had been the one holding the wand that had caused Colin's death.

I choked back a sob and downed my glass of firewhiskey. Tonight was a full bottle night and it was nearly gone. I stumbled towards my kitchen to get the last drops of it when someone knocked on my door. I glanced at the clock noting that it was only seven and I was already wasted, on my birthday no less. I set my cup down roughly and walked to the door. I threw it open and my mouth dropped open in surprise when I saw Malfoy standing on my doorstep.

He looked me over as if figuring out how drunk I truly was. "Evening Potter, may I come in?" He drawled.

I didn't really have a response. I hadn't spoken to him in like two years so at this moment I was too shocked at his presence to even know what to say. I stepped to the side as he swaggered in because that's how he walked with a noticeable swagger. I closed the door and tried to mimic his walk, but failed miserably. I ended up giggling like a fool, which caused him to turn and look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you drunk?" He asked looking me over in a way that he never had before. He looked concerned. He glanced into my open kitchen and saw my nearly empty bottle of firewhiskey on the counter. I didn't have to look to know what he saw. I blushed despite feeling angered by his reaction.

"It's my birthday, I'm celebrating," I replied as I walked, well more like staggered, into my kitchen and poured the rest of the firewhiskey into my cup.

"Why aren't you out with your friends?" Malfoy asked me. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. He was standing a few feet away from me, leaning against the island. He crossed his arms and his ankles and stared at me with a curious look. I didn't like it much. I couldn't remember a time when Draco and I had been this close and not trying to kill each other.

"My _friends_ are too busy to go out on my birthday. Ron and Hermione have a prior engagement that they just couldn't get out of. Neville is at a herbology conference and Luna is visiting her father so that leaves me to celebrate the beginning of my nineteenth year alone," I explained without an ounce of kindness in my explanation. I was surprised that I didn't slur over my words considering how much I'd had to drink. Only a matter of time that my body would become immune to it, guess I'll have to find something new. Maybe muggle tequila or something like that, I mused to myself.

Malfoy gave me another pitying look and I wanted to spell it right off his face, but then I remembered that I left my wand in my bedroom. I must be drunker than I thought. My wand was never far out of my reach.

"Well, I'm here, how about we celebrate together?" Malfoy asked.

I stared at him, my mouth opening and closing like a fish. Malfoy just offered to spend my birthday with me? What the hell? Did the planets align and I had missed it? I cocked to my head to the side as I tried to remember seeing an article about the planets aligning. Malfoy continued to stare at me like I had two heads. For all I knew I probably did. I found that funny because suddenly I burst out in laughter. I laughed so hard that I began to cry. Big alligator tears like Hagrid's fell from my eyes. I couldn't stop. I was clutching my side with one hand and my other was wiping my eyes trying to stop my tears. I cried and cried for what felt like hours. I was crying so much that I barely noticed that I was on the floor and Malfoy was kneeling next to me placing an arm around me in an awkward way. He was trying to console me which made me cry even harder. It was like everything came pouring out of me then. Everything that I had been holding in, pushing to the back of my mind came bursting forward. Every face, every cry, every death all came forward. I cried and cried all the while Malfoy kept an arm around me and muttered soothing words that I didn't understand.

I was so far gone that I didn't even notice that my door had opened and Hermione and Ron were standing in my kitchen as well, frantic over what was wrong with me. I think Malfoy had explained to them what happened even though I don't think he understood it. He hadn't done anything wrong. He had been nice for once. He had been trying to reach out to me and how did I return the favor? By crying like a baby. I didn't even realize that I had stopped crying until I could hear them talking to each other.

"What are we going to do? What's happened to him?" Hermione asked her voice strained from her own tears.

"You're his friends shouldn't you know what's going on with him?" Malfoy asked in a biting tone.

"Malfoy don't talk to her that way. Harry has never been like this around us. I've never seen him cry, ever," Ron seethed turning red and getting in Malfoy's face.

"Back off Weasley. You are asking questions that you should already know the answer to. Hell, I'm not even Harry's friend and I know exactly what's wrong with him," Malfoy said his voice strong and confident. He had called me Harry without a snide tone. He had used my first name. It was amazing to hear that.

"Well if you know so much about our best friend then why don't you tell us?" Ron replied rudely.

I heard Malfoy sigh. I realized then that he was still kneeling next to me with his hand resting against my back. At some point during my fit I had ended up on my side with my cheek pressed against the floor. The top of my head was resting against Malfoy's thigh and I realized how strange this must look to Ron and Hermione who I figured were sitting against the opposing counters. Malfoy, my nemesis, resting his hand on my back consoling me and protecting me with ferocity. I'm sure it was quite the picture to see.

"Obviously something set him off today. Can either of you think of anything that would set him off?" Malfoy asked.

Hermione and Ron exchanged looks and shook their heads in response. I heard Malfoy sigh again and I imagined him pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "I was having lunch near your store today and I saw Dennis Creevy go in. Within a few minutes Harry came out looking rather upset and I saw him leave. I put two and two together," Malfoy explained. Amazing how he hit the nail on the head with just that minor explanation.

"Dennis didn't say anything to upset Harry. I was there when they talked," Hermione countered.

"He didn't have to say anything. Look at Dennis through Harry's eyes. What would he see?" Malfoy asked.

"Colin," Hermione whispered. I heard her gasp and I knew she was looking at me again. I choked on another sob willing the tears not to come. I didn't want to cry anymore. I didn't want to feel anymore. I wasn't even sure I wanted to exist anymore. I didn't like that I was having another birthday when those who died for me should be celebrating birthdays and I should have been forever seventeen. Not turning nineteen today.

"I don't understand how that would bring him to this point," Ron responded in confusion.

"Life is moving on for everyone, but Harry. Everywhere he looks he is reminded of the war and all those that were lost. He can't close his eyes without seeing all their faces. Can either of you imagine what that must be like for him? You would if you actually cared enough to ask," Malfoy replied.

I bit my lip at his chastising of my friends. How could he know so much about my feelings and my thoughts? I barely looked at him and he knew all this about me.

"Of course we care about Harry! He never acts like the war still bothers him! He always has a happy expression on his face whenever we see him! How are we to know that something was wrong?" Hermione demanded. I heard her stand and stomp her foot in frustration.

"It's in his eyes. I see it every time we acknowledge each other in the mornings. Harry needs help," Malfoy replied quietly.

For some reason his words set me off. It pissed me off that he knew so much about me without saying a damn word to me and now he was saying that I needed help? It pissed me off. I sat up quickly all the blood rushing from my head leaving me a bit lightheaded. I felt my stomach roll as the firewhiskey churned angrily. I glared at Malfoy through puffy, red rimmed eyes.

"How can you possibly know so much about me when you never talk to me until tonight?" I demanded. I wasn't sure if I was making much since.

"Harry it's not hard to understand you when you wear all your emotions on your sleeve. You need to do something. This is not you. This is not the Harry Potter that I fought in school," Malfoy said in a soothing voice as he gestured to the empty bottle of firewhiskey.

I was seething. I was furious. "You want to see emotions? Fine, I'll show you emotions! Fuck you Malfoy! You come into my flat tonight ruining a perfectly good evening of self pity, spouting off about how you supposedly know me so well! You know what I need? I need you to get the fuck out of my house! All of you!" I yelled. I stormed over to my front door and yanked it open. I was glaring at them all and breathing heavily. I felt like I was going to throw up all over my Welcome mat. All three of them stared at me shock and worry evident on their faces.

Malfoy stood first and slowly walked towards me. He looked into my eyes which made me feel uncomfortable. I had never seen him this way and it truly bothered me. "Don't do anything stupid. You're too good for that," He muttered to me. I bit my lip fighting back another yell.

Ron followed suit and left without saying a word. I don't think he knew what to say. He was confused and worried and hurt at the way I was acting. Hermione walked towards me last her bottom lip trembling and her hands shaking. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. "Harry, please. Don't hurt yourself," Hermione whimpered looking up at me with pleading eyes.

"Get out," I responded icily. She stared at me for a second more before she let out a sob and walked out of my flat. I slammed the door and locked it. I ran to my room grabbing my wand so I could cast as many locking charms on the door as I could think of. I stormed into the kitchen downing the leftover firewhiskey and throwing the bottle across the room as well as the glass. Then I sunk to the floor and cried, willing my life to end as I lied there.


	2. A Hero in Despair

**A/N: I decided to post one more chapter so you can see what happens after Harry kicks everyone out. Each chapter will go between Harry and Draco so this time it's from Draco's point of view. I hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 2: A Hero in Despair**

After being forced out of Harry's flat I went upstairs to my own rather slowly. I hadn't said a word to Weasley and Granger and I could feel the worry that was radiating off of them. Hell even I was worried beyond belief about Harry. At some point during the crying he had become Harry to me. Actually I think he had been Harry for quite sometime. Probably since the day he rescued me from the Room of Requirement. I should have perished in there along with Crabbe, but Harry's hero complex prevented that. I was grateful to him though even if I couldn't show it in an appropriate way. Actually I suppose I did by not terrorizing him during our last year of school, but the truth was I didn't just do it for him. I grew up a lot during the war and I realized that I made a lot of mistakes and I wanted to change them that year. I wanted to be a better person for myself and I guess Harry too.

That was part of the reason I moved into a building full of Gryffindorks and one loony Ravenclaw. I wanted to be close to Harry, to prove to him that I was a good person that I had changed. I think he noticed, but neither of us acknowledged it. I'm glad I was here though to notice what his friends obviously didn't. Harry was heading down a path that was nowhere near the one he should be on. I watched him close in on himself and shut out all his friends. He did it in such a way that it appeared that they had become too busy for him and yeah that was part of it, but it was also by Harry's hand. He was so depressed that he pushed away all the people that loved him.

I had finally reached my door without even realizing it. I unlocked it and walked in. I muttered several locking charms as I headed towards my bedroom. I had to write down the thoughts that were going through my head about him, about everything. I knew I wasn't going to sleep tonight once I got into bed. My mind would not stop going over and over the despair that Harry was in. I had never seen him like that. He was always so strong. No, he is strong and he'll get through this. Maybe that's what he needed to do, just cry it all out? Gods I hope so. I can't really imagine a life without Harry Potter. I don't think I could exist without him, whatever that means. I had to start writing before my mind became too jumbled and confusing.

I reached over to my nightstand and pulled out the journal I had bought at an antique store in Hogsmeade. It was made of coffee brown durable Italian leather with cream-colored Italian, hand cut paper. It had a curious insignia on the front that I had no idea what it meant, but it seemed to go perfectly with the purpose of it. It was expensive, but it was so durable and would last for years. I had only bought it a week ago because my other one was already filled. I had kept a journal for as long as I could remember and it truly helped to get things out of my head. It was very similar to a pensieve only a bit less evasive.

I sighed as I looked down at the cover of the book. I was always able to write no matter how keyed up I was, but for some reason tonight I just couldn't find the words to write. I reached into the drawer again and pulled out an expensive ballpoint muggle pen that I had found while shopping. I typically shied away from muggle things, but this pen was amazing so I made an exception. I brought the pen to the paper and began writing. My hand flew across the page as my feelings began pouring out through the pen.

_July 31, 1999_

_Today was a very difficult day for me. It started out like any other day. I got dressed, had a muffin for breakfast and had some tea and then I got ready for work. I saw Leone on my way to the apparition point. I wanted to say more to him today, but I couldn't. For some reason now that we aren't against each other I can't form the words to talk to him. He looked really tortured today though. Far more than usual. I pushed it aside though because every morning I saw him he looked tortured and sad._

_I didn't even think about it throughout the morning. Like I said, it was nothing different really. It wasn't until lunchtime, when I decided to go to this café in Diagon Alley that I remembered how he'd looked that morning. I saw someone from his past walk into the store he works at and it didn't take long for Leone to come out looking upset. Again I pushed it aside knowing what was causing him to be so upset. But then I noticed throughout the rest of the day that something was nagging at me and I didn't realize what it was until I was sitting in my flat, noticing the date and it hit me. I had this feeling that he was alone tonight and it didn't seem right so I decided to gather up some courage and go down to see him._

_Sure enough he was home by himself and when he opened that door I swear I felt my heart break. He was obviously drunk and when I saw the alcohol sitting on his counter I knew that it was a nightly habit, but tonight seemed far worse. Any normal person would have been out by the first quarter of the bottle, but he was still standing albeit barely, but still standing all the same. He looked so sad and desperate for a break in the clouds. I suddenly felt nothing, but compassion for him. Yeah I know, me having compassion for Leone, doesn't make sense, but I did._

_After I made a bit of small talk everything just went down hill. It was like a dam had broken and years of emotions and feelings came rushing out. All the pain, despair, desperation, all gushing from him like blood in an open wound. I literally broke inside I think as I watched him fall to pieces right in front of me. I had no idea what to do! I have never been in a position like this. Emotions in my family were held in and only brought out in private time, never in front of people. But then he let out this heartbreaking sob and I just knew there was no standing back. I knelt next to him and comforted him, well I tried anyway. We sat like that for so long and he just cried. I didn't think it was ever going to stop and then his friends showed up, Rosso and Folto and they looked at me like it was my fault! I didn't ignore their friend's needs and get so damn wrapped up in my own life that I didn't notice that he was closing in on himself more and more. Best friends are supposed to be there for you through everything, thick and thin, but they just ditched him. That pisses me off. _

_I tried to explain what happened, but the accusations never left their eyes so we just sat there while Leone cried. I've never seen him this way. Ever and I'd known him for quite a few years. Ugh, it was horrible. Finally after at least an hour he calmed down and wasn't crying anymore and I knew he could hear us talking. I said something and he just flipped. I can't recall him ever hurting my feelings like that, but it hurt, bad. Here I am trying to be the person he needs and he just tramples all over my heart like that, but I suppose it is expected. I'm sure I threw him for a loop with the way I was treating him. He kicked us out which was just shocking. Well not really for me because well it's me, but Rosso and Folto? That was just, I don't even know. I can't even explain it. So here I am, trying to get my thoughts out about all of this and I have no idea what to do. I am literally scared for him. I'm afraid that he's going to do something stupid. Why am I still sitting here? I need to go make sure he's okay._

I stood up quickly not even noticing the thump that my journal made when it landed on the floor. I was running full on out my door and running down the five flights of stairs to get to Harry's flat. I didn't even want to wait for the elevator like I always did. There was just something about tonight that seemed so final and I was worrying sick that he was going to hurt himself. I can't imagine life without Harry Potter in it. Never in a million years could I imagine it.

I skidded to a stop outside his door and began pounding on the door. I didn't care who I woke at this late hour with my pounding. I just wanted him to open the door so I could make sure he was okay. Where was this irrational fear coming from? Was I worried for purely selfish reasons because I can't exist without Harry Potter? Or was I truly worried about the Boy-Who-Lived? I didn't know at this moment. All I knew is that he wasn't opening the door and I was beginning to feel very hollow. I stepped back ready to blast the door open when it clicked open. I stared at it for a moment wondering if he had unlocked it and was standing on the other side or my mania unlocked it. I slowly pushed it open and stepped inside. I saw the shards of glass sparkling around the room and then I turned to the kitchen to see Harry lying on his side on the kitchen floor.

I stopped breathing then, my eyes stinging with tears. Had he done something to himself? Had the pain been too much for him? Was I ever going to see those sparkling emeralds again? I reached out for support and gripped a small table that was near the door. I stared at him for a long moment willing any part of him to move so that I knew that he was alive. I couldn't even tell through my tears if he was alive. I was about to give into my pain when he snorted rather loudly. I was so happy to hear it that I laughed out loud. I continued to laugh as I walked into the kitchen and sank down next to him. From this point I could see him visibly breathing. I was so relieved that I closed my eyes and let a few tears fall from my eyes. Harry was going to be around for another day to pester me. I vowed that I was going to talk to him more from now on and be there for him.

**XXXX**

The next morning I awoke with a horrible crick in my neck and my butt numb from sitting on the hard floor. I looked down and saw that Harry hadn't moved an inch in the night except that his arm was thrown over my legs in a way that looked like he was reaching for me. I smiled at this and I was pleased to see that he was still breathing. I stared at him for a moment further and then I slowly pulled myself away from him. I didn't make it far before he groaned and brought a hand to his face rubbing vigorously. I chuckled and he froze where he was. He turned his body, bones cracking as he moved and looked up at me. I gave him what I hoped was a gentle smile and he blushed before he pulled himself completely up.

"What are you doing here?" He asked his voice hoarse and deep from sleep and crying the night before.

"I was worried about you," I replied honestly.

He looked at me peculiarly and looked around his kitchen. He saw the shattered glass and he remembered just what had happened the night before. "I'm such an idiot," He whispered as he buried his face in his hands.

"No, not an idiot. You needed to get it out. I just happened to be the one to be here when it started," I replied.

"You shouldn't have seen that. No one should have. I'm so ashamed of myself," Harry muttered.

"Harry look at me," he looked up at me slowly and reluctantly, but looked all the same. "You've been holding it in far too long. I'm surprised it took this long to breakthrough. If you can't tell Weasley and Granger how you're feeling because you don't want to ruin their happiness or whatever then talk to me. I'm offering myself to you if you ever need an ear," I offered and I meant it. I hadn't really thought about it, but I truly meant it. I wanted to be there for him.

He smirked at me then. "You're offering yourself to me? That seems a bit suggestive, don't you think?" He said.

I stared at him a moment as I processed what he meant and then it dawned on me. "Pervert. Geez, just ruin my moment here. The Draco Malfoy has just extended his ear this time to thee Harry Potter and he makes a joke. When will we ever get it right?" I teased.

He laughed then. "Alright, I'll take your ear this time. Maybe later on I'll take your hand. I'm sorry about last night. I remember being rather rude to you and Ron and Hermione," He said to me all joking gone from his tone.

I shrugged. It didn't bother me. I understood where he was coming from. Okay, so it did bother me a bit with the way he reacted to me, but in the grand scheme of things I understood where he was coming from. "I forgive you and I'm sure they will too, but until then I think you need breakfast and a shower. We need to figure out how else we can help you get through all of this. I have a feeling that despite having my ear available that you won't always take it," I said to him.

He was about to protest my words, but I gave him a knowing look. He wasn't really transparent persay I had just been studying him for so long that I knew how he was when it came to talking to others. He nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you're probably right. How do you get your thoughts all straightened out?" He asked curiously.

"I write in a journal. I have for years. It helps quite a bit actually. It might be something to try. I don't really see you going to a counselor or whatever," I responded.

He scoffed and shook his head. "Definitely not. That's a news story just waiting to get out despite doctor-patient confidentiality. Maybe I'll give it a shot. Thanks for, well, everything I guess," Harry said quietly. He looked up at me then with those green eyes of his and I saw him in a new light. It seemed that we had climbed over a huge mountain between us. I hoped that it was the case. It would be nice to be friends with him, if that's what he wants. I won't push him. He'd been pushed enough in his life especially by me. He smiled at me then and walked back towards where I imagined his room was. I watched as he closed his door behind him and I stood there for a moment just thinking about the change of events in less than twelve hours. I went from barely speaking to Harry to being there for his biggest breakdown ever.

I turned and quickly banished the broken glass and began looking through his kitchen trying to find something to make for us for breakfast. I settled on chocolate chip pancakes, my personal favorite and a killer hangover cure. I was hopeful that things would change for Harry and I just hoped that he'd let me help him through it all.


	3. A New Friend?

**A/N: Hey guys here's another chapter of this story. It would have been up sooner, but I was camping this weekend and very, very busy. You'll probably see some updates from me between now and tomorrow night because I'm leaving to go to Seattle on Tuesday. A friend and I are meeting another friend up there to go to the Half Blood Prince premiere! I am so freaking excited!!!! Anyway, enjoy this chappy and it's from Harry's point of view. Also, chocolate chip pancakes from last chapter are Tom Felton's personal favorite just FYI :) Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3: A New Friend?**

I stared up at my nemesis surprised to see him in my kitchen and smiling at me, kindly at that. I had no idea what he was doing there, but when I looked around I remembered everything. I had a serious breakdown last night on my nineteenth birthday in front of Draco Malfoy of all people. How embarrassing. He understood though. Nothing like I expected. I imagined him going back to his flat and calling up all his former housemates and sharing with them all that thee great Harry Potter has finally cracked up and it's time to break out the champagne, but here he was, in all his glory, lending an ear to me. It's amazing really. I realized that I had been thinking that a lot in regards to Draco. Oh, now he's Draco, how interesting. Well he might as well be. I'm Harry to him now and considering he watched me breakdown and he was still here the next day that must make him more than just Malfoy. What an upside down world I was in at the moment.

He shooed me to the shower then offered to make me breakfast. Malfoy, I mean Draco, was making _me _breakfast. It was, well, only one word to describe it, amazing. I welcomed the time to myself once I shut my bedroom door behind me. Not that I was annoyed that Draco was in my flat once again because I found that I actually appreciated it. It's for damn sure Hermione and Ron weren't here making sure I lived through the night. I glanced at the clock noting that it was rather early and maybe I wasn't giving them the benefit of the doubt. It didn't matter. I'd explain it away and things would be fine once again. They would go back to their busy lives and I would go back to wallowing in self pity every night. Maybe not with firewhiskey, but maybe chocolate or biscuits or something, not that those choices would be any better.

I stepped into my bathroom and into the shower. My body hurt badly and as soon as the warm water hit me I moaned at the way it felt against my tense muscles. I wondered if Draco was really here out of concern for me or if he just wanted to be the first to know that I had finally kicked the bucket. The more I thought about it I realized that I didn't want to die. I was very depressed, I'd admit that, but I didn't work so hard to rid the world of Voldemort to just take myself out of it. I know my friends love me, but they do have lives outside of me. I guess I need to find something more out of my life and get out of the rut I'm in. Maybe join a writing class or a book club or something. I grimaced at the thought of that. It wasn't really high on my list of wants. I'd figure it out eventually.

I turned off the shower and reached for my towel. I slipped it around my waist and opened the bathroom door and nearly had a heart attack when I saw Draco standing in the middle of my room. He looked like he was heading towards the bathroom. He stared at me, his eyes as wide as saucers. I felt myself blushing as his eyes carefully looked from my dripping wet hair to my feet where the water was pooling. He blushed then too.

"Sorry, I was, uh…." he closed his eyes for a minute taking a deep breath and then he opened them again, schooling his features. "Breakfast is ready," he finished and then he turned around and left my room closing the door behind him. I stood there for a moment, speechless. Had he just seen me like this or was I imagining things? Not sure why it bothered me so much I mean it's not like I've never been seen like this by anyone else. For some reason though I was more bothered by Draco seeing me this way than anyone else and I wasn't sure if it was a bad bother either. I shook my head and quickly dried off. This was a bit much for me to wrap my head around.

When I walked out of my bedroom Draco was sitting at my small dining table that was really only meant for one. I could still see a bit of pink in his cheeks and it brought mine back. This was a weird, weird day. The smell of the food distracted me and I grinned. He had made my favorite breakfast food.

"Wow this is great! This is my absolute favorite breakfast food!" I exclaimed as I sat down in front of him happily and began cutting into them. He looked up at me in surprise. "What?" I asked with a mouthful of pancake.

"These are your favorite?" He asked quietly.

"Of course. They're the best, although I can never make them this good. Think you could make them every day for me?" I joked.

His eyes widened and I stopped chewing to stare at his confused look. Did I say something that bothered him? I quickly thought through the brief conversation and found nothing that was really of concern.

"Um, these are my favorite too. Sorry I think you're the first person I've met who's actually had these as a favorite. I'm glad you like them," Draco responded. He said it in a way that seemed peculiar, but I couldn't quite pinpoint why it sounded so strange. I smiled and continued eating happily. He ate as well, I think, but it seemed that he was staring at me more often then eating.

"Why do you keep staring at me?" I asked him.

He blushed again which I found amusing. I've never seen him blush before today. "Sorry, it's like I'm looking at you for the first time or something," he murmured thoughtfully.

I didn't know what to make of that statement. It was too early to even begin to decipher it so I pushed it away for now. We continued eating in silence and this time he didn't even look at me. It bothered me almost as much as his staring at me, but I noticed that it felt differently. I really had no idea how to explain this weird morning with him.

"Oh and sorry about earlier in my room. Usually I am all dry and dressed before I come out of the bathroom, but I forgot to grab some clothes before going in there. Of course then again I wasn't expecting you to come in," I teased. I watched his expression change as I brought that up. He blushed again and shifted in his seat. That caught my attention more than the blush.

"Its fine, I just wanted to let you know that breakfast was ready. I should have just waited or something. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable," He said quietly.

I scrunched my eyebrows together at his comment. I hadn't been uncomfortable at all. It's not like he's the first bloke to see me that way so I told him that. "Well, it didn't make me uncomfortable per se. I mean it's not like you're the first bloke to see me like that," I answered with a shrug. I didn't want to admit to the thoughts that it did evoke that I kept completely to myself. I thought for a moment that he knew those thoughts with the way he was looking at me now.

"You mean that you've been seen, like that, from another bloke?" He asked me incredulously.

"Um yeah, did you guys have separate showers in the dungeons at Hogwarts or something?" I asked just as incredulous.

Draco sighed in what looked like relief and relaxed. He chuckled and shook his head. "No we did not have separate showers. I just thought you meant, you know, outside of Hogwarts," he replied with a blush.

I twisted my face up in confusion as I processed what he meant. When it finally hit me I knew my face was burning red. "Um…no…no one has ever, what I mean is that," I cleared my throat and blew out a puff of air blowing my bangs up. "No one has ever seen me, well like that, ever," I finished. He nodded slowly and I knew I was still blushing deeply. Could this be any more awkward all of a sudden? He studied me for a moment.

"Well then I guess it's just my lucky day," He said with a laugh. I buried my face in my hands in embarrassment and he laughed a bit harder. We were interrupted by a knock on the door. I looked up knowing who was probably going to be on the other side. I sighed and started to get up, but Draco reached out and touched my arm stopping me. I was shocked by the warmth of his touch because I always imagined that it would be ice cold. It was a good feeling though. It seemed that he noticed it too. He stood and walked to the door. I felt the absence of his touch and I found myself wanting it back.

I watched as he opened the door and of course who I thought would be there was. Before I could blink I had a face full of bushy brown hair. She was mumbling into my chest and then stepping back and placing her hands on my face and mumbling some more. I had no idea what she was saying except that she was crying profusely.

"Oh Harry! You're okay! I was so worried! Don't ever do that to me again! You need to talk to me!" Hermione wailed.

I stared at her feeling a bit angry. "If you were so concerned why didn't you come back last night?" I asked, ice dripping from my words. She stepped back and stared at me in shock. She was biting her bottom lip.

"Harry, you told me to leave. I wanted to respect your wishes," She whispered.

I stared at her and sighed. I couldn't be mad at her for this. It was my fault. "I'm sorry Mione. It's my fault. I shouldn't have kept it in for so long," I replied hanging my head. I heard Draco gasp from the doorway. I looked up at him and he looked angry.

"Harry, no. It's not your fault. You've been hurting for so long and I should have paid more attention. I just became too wrapped up in my life. I'm so sorry," She whispered again. She looked at me with those big, brown pleading eyes of hers and I couldn't help, but believe her. I pulled her into a hug and when I looked up from her I saw a pained expression on Draco's face that I didn't understand. Man he was putting me through the ringer with all his crazy emotions.

"Well what are we going to do then? I know you won't always want to talk to me or Ron, but you need to have another avenue to get your feelings out," Hermione said. She placed a hand on her chin as she thought about what I could do.

"I've got Draco. He's offered to lend his ear if I need it and he also suggested writing in a journal. I think I might try that as well," I said to her. I glanced back at Draco who had replaced his pained expression with a smug smile. I chuckled and Hermione turned to look at Draco and then back at Harry.

"I didn't realize that you two were becoming such good friends," Hermione said unsurely.

I smiled at him then and he returned the smile. Hermione looked between us again. "He came back and stayed here all night _and_ he made my favorite breakfast without even knowing it was my favorite."

Hermione's eyes widened and she turned to Draco. "I didn't realize you cared so much," she said to him.

Draco's smile came off his face then and it was replaced by the similar coldness that I had seen when he was a child. "There's a lot that you don't realize about me Granger. Um, Harry I need to go to work so I'll see you around okay? I'm here if you need me. Don't forget that," Draco said.

"Thanks for staying and for making breakfast. I truly appreciate it," I said to him. I couldn't help but feel bummed that he was leaving. He nodded at me and then left my flat disappearing in the direction of his own. Hermione turned back to me and looked at me quizzically, but she didn't say anything.

"Well, are you ready to go or did you want to take the day off?" She asked me.

"Um no, let's go. I need to get out of here. We should find a journal for me," I said as we started walking towards my door. We walked out closing the door behind us and started heading down the hallway.

"We should stop at Luna's antique shop. I saw this great journal there that I think would be perfect," Hermione suggested. I nodded and followed her to the apparition point. I was feeling much better today and more able to handle life. I think a lot of that was because of Draco. I don't think he knows how much he helped me today, or maybe he does. If not I am going to tell him. He deserves to know that he saved my life last night.


	4. A Curious Situation

**A/N: So I decided to post another chapter of this because of a mishap with _Protecting a Hero_ and not getting anything done on _Forever Friends_. This is from Draco's point of view and we learn a bit more about what he's noticed about our green eyed hero in the year they've been living in the same building. I hope you all enjoy it and if any of you are seeing HBP this week, tonight, tomorrow, or whenever, enjoy! I shall share my thoughts when I get back! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 4: A Curious Situation**

When I finally got settled in at work today I was finally able to bring the morning's events to the forefront of my mind. I wasn't sure what to think about it all. So many emotions ran through me today that made no sense. I had never looked at Harry in any other way, but as an annoyance and a rival, but the past year or so had changed my views on him and this morning and last night especially floored me.

When I walked into his bedroom to let him know that breakfast was ready I had no foresight that I might see him looking ever so vulnerable and ever so sexy. Yes I'd admitted long ago that Harry was very attractive, one of the many reasons I was jealous of him for so many years. Not that I'm unattractive in the least because I am a very attractive man, but it was always on the outside for me, but Harry was attractive inside and out. That's what made me jealous. I think I saw him looking that way in my subconscious many times because another thing I had admitted long ago was that I preferred men over women by far even though I had never been with another man, but women did nothing for me. I never looked twice at a big haired, big breasted woman, but a man with a tight arse and a killer smile always melted my insides. Don't even get me started on eyes.

Back to Harry though. I had never felt so funny on the inside until I laid eyes on him dripping wet with his hair soaked and water sliding down his taut chest. It made me hard just thinking about it again. He hadn't had his glasses on so his eyes were just this beautiful, brilliant shade of green. I had never seen his eyes so vibrant. Obviously I am an eyes man by far. Of course no one's eyes had ever affected me the way Harry's did, but maybe it was the sexy and vulnerable way he stood there that had me going. Actually no, I think it was all of that together. Here I am getting side tracked again, but how can I not? It doesn't matter though because I am sure that Harry is definitely straight and would never think twice about me aside from being his friend. I'll take what I can get.

He seemed so unaffected by me seeing him that way that it made me almost certain that he wasn't into blokes at all. I groaned out loud trying to dispel that image of him in my head, but I couldn't so I forced it to the back of my mind and thought about the rest of the morning. I stood from my desk and walked over to the enchanted windows. I wanted something to appear that would calm me and as always the window gave me what I wanted. I was staring out across the beach watching the wave's crash into the sand billowing up white clouds of water droplets. Working for the ministry as an analyst for the Auror department had been a good choice for me, one that my father stood by. He had changed so much since the war, both him and my mum and I appreciated that he supported me and not in a way that benefited him by having someone on the inside.

My thoughts went back to sitting across from Harry at breakfast. I thought I was the only one in the world who loved chocolate chip pancakes even though they are by far the most delicious concoction ever, but then Harry had to surprise me. That was something right there and then when he asked if I'd make them for him every morning, I had to bite my tongue not to shout that I would love to make them for him every morning amongst other things I would love to do to him. I covered my face with my hands and let out another groan. What a mess my emotions were this morning. I heard someone clear their throat behind me and I whipped around surprised at who was standing in my doorway. The very man who had been preoccupying my mind all morning was standing in my doorway looking uncertain.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" I asked him. I wanted to smack myself in the head as I realized how idiotic that sounded. It sounded like I was up to no good which I suppose I was entertaining ideas that weren't so good, well they are fantastic ideas, but not one's that are shared mutually.

He blushed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, you're probably really busy. I shouldn't have come," he said quietly as he started to turn and leave.

"No, wait!" I cried. I scolded myself for sounding so desperate and watched as he turned to look at me with a hopeful look in his eyes. "Sit, please. I'm not busy at all," well not busy with work anyway I thought as I gestured over to the seat in front of me. Harry smiled shyly and closed the door behind him before walking over to the chair. He seemed different than he had that morning, but not in a bad way.

"How are you?" He asked me. I stared at him for a moment surprised. Here he was the one who had this major breakdown the night before and he was asking me how I was? Typical Harry.

"I'm doing alright. A bit sore and tired, but other than that I'm doing well," I replied. I sat down in my seat as well.

He blushed. "You could have woken me up and sent me to my room or something and you could have gone home or slept on the couch or you know," He replied with a shrug. I froze for a moment at his last words. Had he wanted to say or in my bed with me?

"Well, it's um, a good soreness. I wouldn't have been anywhere else last night," I replied.

He smiled at me then and I felt my stomach flip flop. How could he possibly affect me so? I'd been watching him for so long that I wondered if I had fallen in love with him or something. Perfect thing to do when he's straight. My thoughts must have betrayed me because he looked at me in a peculiar way.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked me. Define alright? I thought to myself.

"Yeah, of course. Sorry just thinking about the work I have to do," I replied lamely.

"Oh right, of course. Sorry. Um I just came by to say thank you for everything last night and today. It means a lot to me. I'll just let you get back to work and I'll see you around," He said standing up quickly and heading towards my office door. I found myself at a loss for words. Harry had thanked me. He had thanked me of all people and what I did for him meant a lot to him. He waved before opening my door and I dumbly waved back and stared blankly at the spot he just vacated. I ran a hand through my hair and focused my attention back on the documents in front of me. It was going to be a long, long day.

**XXXX**

When I arrived home that night I walked into the lobby and was met with a flurry of activity. I had never seen so much stuff going on in our building. It seemed that everyone was there, but Harry. I walked over to Hermione who was biting down on her fingernails nervously.

"What did I miss?" I asked her. She looked up at me in alarm.

"Oh thank goodness. Maybe you can talk some sense into him," Hermione said.

I felt my stomach drop knowing exactly who she was talking about. Had he had a relapse or something? Was he sitting on top of the building ready to jump? "Talk some sense into whom?" I asked my voice shaking slightly.

"Harry! He has taken every piece of furniture out of his apartment and left it in the hallway. None of us can get to our apartments because subsequently the elevator stopped working. Not only that, but the whole building smells like paint!" Hermione exclaimed.

I sighed in relief. Harry was just being a bit eccentric easy enough to handle. "Did you forget that you're a witch?" I asked her in a teasing voice.

"Of course I haven't forgotten! He's got some sort of spell or something on them that won't allow any of us to move them! We just came back from the bookstore and suddenly he wants to remodel his flat! Draco, do something!" She cried again.

I chuckled and shook my head. I walked away from her and to the stairs to Harry's floor. As I ascended them I could smell the paint fumes. It was definitely stinky. When I opened the door to his floor I could hear the Weird Sisters being blasted throughout the floor and someone singing a horrible rendition of one of their songs. I looked down the hallway and saw every piece of furniture including his bed strewn about the hallway. The music got louder as I approached his open door.

"Harry!" I yelled. I received no response so I called his name again. I still received no response, but I heard him singing away. The paint fumes were becoming overwhelming and I wondered if he had any windows open in his flat. I cast a _Sonorous _charm and called his name again. The music turned off and I was suddenly face to face with a bright-eyed Harry Potter.

"Draco! What are you doing here?" He asked excitedly. He looked a bit jittery and I wondered why.

"The other tenants asked me to persuade you to open up the hallway for them and to stop painting. Do you have windows open in here?" I asked him looking at him with amusement.

He glanced back into his flat and lifted his eyebrows. I watched him flick his wand and heard several crashes within his room. I peeked in and noticed that all the windows were definitely now open with no hopes of ever being closed again. He looked back at me with a sheepish grin.

"Windows are open now! Come in, come in! I want to show you what I'm doing to the place!" He exclaimed. He flicked his wand moving the bookcase that was blocking most of his doorway and bounded inside. He reminded me of an excitable puppy and it made me smile. When I walked in I was instantly met with very bright walls in an off white color. The cupboards and cabinets were no longer black. They were a warm brown with light colored marble countertops. The floor had lost its dark wood coloring and was now a plush white carpet. The room looked much brighter and much bigger. I walked down the hallway that was also a nice warm brown shade of wood and peeked into the rooms along the way. They were all bright and inviting. When I turned around Harry was right behind me looking very energetic. I jumped back in shock. "So what do you think?! Wonderful isn't it!" He exclaimed again. He bounded off into the family room and waited ever so impatiently for me to walk back into the room.

"It's great Harry. Um, are you feeling alright?" I asked cautiously.

The smile never faltered from his face. "Of course I am! I think a big issue was the darkness of this whole flat. It was getting in the way of my mood so I decided to change it!"

"Okay, well um what's gotten you so wound up?" I asked him calmly.

"Oh well, when I got home I realized that I had no more firewhiskey not that I need that anymore nor will I ever have any more ever again and so I decided to drink something else. Have you ever had this muggle drink called Red Bull or something like that? It's fantastic! And then I ran out of that so I decided to have some coffee. Now I've really got to pee," He explained quickly. He bounded out of the room and went into the bathroom without even closing the door. I tried very hard not to listen, but I had never heard someone pee for so long. After roughly five minutes he came back out looking very relieved and even more energetic.

"Well, that's great that you haven't had any firewhiskey. Um how much of this Red Bull and coffee did you have?" I asked him. He cocked his head to the side as he thought about it and appeared to be ticking off on his fingers just how much he had had. He looked undeniably adorable as he thought about and I couldn't help, but feel warmth build within my heart.

"I had um a six pack of Red Bull and then half a pot of coffee. Yeah that sounds about right. So I think the paints dry. Care to help me?" Harry replied after awhile his eyes appeared to brighten further.

I chuckled and nodded. He grinned brightly and ran for his door and out into the hallway. Before I even had a chance to move he was levitating his couch into the room. He held it above his head as he contemplated where he wanted to place it. "I think it would look nice against this wall here," I suggested. Harry nodded excitedly and placed the couch there. I went out into the hallway and started levitating smaller items into the room relieved that the spell was lifted. Harry hadn't come back out yet so I returned inside to see him lying on the couch completely out. He was snoring and I chuckled out loud. The sugar finally hit him and he crashed hard.

I left his room and went downstairs where the rest of the tenants were waiting. "He is completely out. Anyone care to help me get his flat back in order?" I asked.

Hermione, Ron, Neville, and Luna agreed immediately and followed him back up to Harry's floor. "What came over him?" Ron asked.

"He decided that his apartment was too dark and he wanted to change it so he did. A six pack of Red Bull and half a pot of coffee later we have a passed out Harry Potter with more than half his furniture in the hallway," I replied with a grin.

They all began laughing as they started levitating pieces into his flat. They each hoped that this was the turning point for Harry and they would be there more for him. It was the least they could do for the Savior of the Wizarding World.


	5. A New Beginning

**A/N: Another update for this story! I changed my name too. I was PotGra4Ever for over a year and I am now DrarryLover4Ever. I stopped writing in the Harry/Hermione universe obviously, but I still fully believe that he should have ended up with her and not Ginny in the end. Draco of course is the ultimate one for Harry, but as far as the movies and books go I wanted Hermione for Harry. Anyway, after this chapter you will see a repeat of journal entries possibly since they will be showing up in Draco and Harry's journals. I apologize if it's annoying. You can always skip over it if you want. Anyway, without further ado here is the next chapter for you all :D**

**Chapter 5: A New Beginning**

When I awoke later I had a splitting headache and the worst taste in my mouth. I sat up heavily and looked around. I wondered if I had stepped into a different flat because it looked nothing like mine had been aside from all my furniture being there. Then I remembered that I had a hell of a lot of caffeine while I changed my flat around. I wondered how all my furniture had ended up back inside considering that I had fallen asleep and it was clearly later in the evening. I sat up fully and marveled at how nice the room looked. Whoever had put all the pieces back in had done a fantastic job. I glanced over to the easy chair and noticed someone sitting there reading a book. I could make out a plant on the front and knew instantly who it was.

"Evening Neville," I croaked. He brought the book down and looked over the top of it at me with a kind smile.

"You're awake. How are you feeling?" He asked me.

"Like shit to be honest. You didn't have to stay. I would have woken up eventually," I told him.

"Yes well, Draco thought you might be in a caffeine coma and wanted to make sure that someone stayed with you just in case. I volunteered," He explained.

"Draco was here?" I asked. I had a vague memory of him being in my flat as I showed him around like an excited puppy. I groaned answering my own question.

"Yeah, he did most of the work in getting it set up in here. Ron and Hermione really couldn't agree on where to put the furniture so Draco took over and shooed them away. I bet their still arguing. Anyway, he went to the store to get you some better food and better things to drink. No more firewhiskey, Red Bull, and coffee for you," Neville teased.

I looked up in surprise. Draco had stayed again and only left to get things for me. What was going on with him? "He was staying with me?"

"Of course. We talked quite a bit. He really is a nice guy. Definitely not the git that he was in school. He really cares about you I think," Neville mused. I stared at him with wide, unbelieving eyes. I was about to respond when the door opened and in walked Draco with several bags of groceries floating behind him.

"Oh good you're awake. Let me just say that I am amazed that you've survived so long on the food that you had in your cupboards and ice box. Simply abysmal. No matter, I've bought you some much better food and you will eat it, no bitching allowed," He said as he started putting things away in my kitchen.

I stood up and walked in there still in disbelief.

"Well, I think that's my cue to go. I'm glad you're alright Harry and please don't be afraid to talk to me. I really am a great listener," Neville said before he opened the front door.

"I know Neville. Thank you," I said quietly not taking my eyes off of Draco. Neville left with one more glance between Draco and me.

"Now sit at the table while I whip up something good for you to eat. You must be starving," Draco said as he waved his hand at me. I couldn't help but comply as I turned and took a seat at the table. I continued to stare at him as he flicked his wand in intricate movements creating the most delicious smelling meal I'd had in ages. He walked over briskly and set the plate down in front of me. I inhaled the delicious aromas and dug in without a second thought.

After awhile of watching him put stuff away and most of my meal was gone I finally regained the use of my voice. "How much do I owe you for the groceries?"

He waved off my question. "Nothing," he replied simply.

"But Draco, I, this is all… why are you being so nice to me?" I asked settling on the question that I really wanted answered.

He turned to look at me and studied me for several moments before he responded. "Because I want to. You've done so much for everyone else, but yourself and I just want to do something for _you_. Let you be the one to get saved for once. Besides, I've developed a soft spot for you," He answered.

"Oh yeah, since when?" I retorted shocked at the disbelief in my voice. He didn't seem to notice and for that I was grateful. Draco didn't have to do anything for me. He was definitely under no obligation to do these things so I found myself wanting to believe him and finding it hard not to.

"Since I realized that you were hurting or sooner. I don't really know. Are you okay here? I've got loads of work to finish up, but I didn't want to go unless you were okay," Draco said.

"Yeah, I'm…uh…fine. Go finish your work. I don't want to get you in trouble at work," I replied unsurely. Yeah I felt fine, but I wasn't so sure I wanted Draco to leave.

He seemed to pick up on the reluctance in my voice because he walked over and stood next to me looking rather concerned. "Are you sure? Because I can stay longer if you need me to," He said sincerely.

"No it's fine. You've done enough. Thank you so much for everything. I don't think I can tell you that enough," I said with sincerity. He smiled at me and touched my shoulder gently. He squeezed it once before he turned and left me with my stocked kitchen and my nearly finished dinner. I felt conflicted at the moment and pondered what I should do about it. I remembered placing my new journal in my nightstand and figured I'd try it out and see if it helped. I sent my plate to the kitchen and set it on automatic cleaning. I turned off the lights and entered my bedroom. It looked fantastic and I realized that the stress I had been feeling before was nearly gone.

I undressed and climbed into bed. I took a deep breath and opened my nightstand drawer pulling out the journal. It was a warm brown color made of Italian leather and had hand-cut paper within it. There was a curious insignia on the front that Luna had no idea what it meant. It smelled wonderfully old and fresh at the same time. I opened it and reached for my expensive muggle pen that Luna had suggested. She said it would be gentle on the paper or something like that.

I uncapped the pen and stared at the blank page. I had never been the best at expressing my feelings to others and I didn't think I'd be able to do it on this paper either. I sighed and started with the date.

_August 1, 1999_.

I stared at it doodling in the corner. I realized that I had made a heart and several smiley faces around it. I sighed again and suddenly the words began tumbling across the page.

_August 1, 1999_

_It's the day after one of the biggest days of my life. I never thought I'd get to the point that I had, but I did. I kept things to myself for far too long and it was only a matter of time before it would all come tumbling out. But then it was as if Merlin wasn't ready to let me go for he sent me a Silver Angel in the form of someone I never expected. That's what I'll call them, Silver Angel. I had reached the deepest point in my life and I was surprised that someone was there to pull me out of the pit that I had made for myself._

_They were the last person I'd expect, but now that they're here I can't seem to want to be away from them. Maybe it's because I feel that they are my crutch, my support? Never in a million years would I expect to have them here in my life that way. They are not the person I thought they were. They've grown up since school and I really believe that we can be friends and that we can possibly be more than just friends. More than friends? Wow, I have no idea where that came from. I don't think that's even remotely possible. I'm too messed up for a relationship with anyone right now let alone them. They could do so much better, as if they'd even want to think of me in that way at all. So many things to think about._

_My friends are being a little odd. Chocolate was really careful around me today. I don't know why they felt that they had to be like that with me. I'm not some precious china that's going to break. Okay so maybe that's not completely true, but it's not like they have to treat me like I'm a baby or something. It was rather frustrating. Don't even get me started on Fire. They were just as bad because they were trying __**too**__ hard. That's the nice thing about Silver Angel. They acted normal and treated me like a normal person. I have no idea what's going to happen between us if anything more than just friendship. I feel better now though. So far they have been right about a lot of things. This helps._

I reread what I wrote and smiled to myself. I felt much better already. Draco was definitely one smart, sexy man. Sexy? I blushed at the thought. He would never feel that way for me. He is as straight as they come. I tried to push that thought from my mind, but I found myself drifting to sleep with thoughts of Draco and me together as one, in ways that I never expected I'd think of him.

**XXXX**

_I was sitting on my terrace looking out across London when I felt strong hands on my hips. I smiled and closed my eyes as I felt lips pressing gentle kisses to my neck and shoulders. I sighed in contentment and took a deep breath inhaling the intoxicating scent that belonged to only one person. I turned my back to London facing the person responsible for the tremors of pleasure that were coursing through my body. When I opened my eyes, silver eyes were staring back at me. I took in the perfect features and smiled at the pink, luscious lips that were upturned into the most glorious smirk I had ever seen._

_His hands continued to rest on my hips as his thumb rubbed against the area around my hip bone. For some reason this sent all the heat that was building in my chest straight to my groin. I looked back up at him, my eyes wide with wonder. His smile broadened stretching to his eyes._

"_I love you Harry. Never leave me," he whispered faintly._

_I nodded and tried to tell him I loved him back, but no words would come from my mouth. He just smiled as if he knew that I loved him too and then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine in the sweetest, most tender kiss I had ever received from anyone in my entire life. Bright lights were bursting from behind him and I realized that he was starting to fade into the light. I fought for him to stay, but was only greeted with empty air. _

My eyes flew open and I realized that the bright light was the sun shining through my windows and that I had been dreaming. I reached up and touched my lips and felt a tingle there that seemed that I had been kissed thoroughly. I closed my eyes breathing heavily and ran a hand down my bare chest. I stopped when I hit my aching erection. I hadn't had one of these in ages. I groaned as my fingertips grazed it. The feeling that shot through my back was by far one of the best feelings in the world. I threw the blankets off and began taking the pressure off with images of Draco and me from my dream. Today was going to be a good day.


	6. Who's is This?

**A/N: Well the story is starting to pick up :D I am so thrilled. We get to see a bit more into Draco's life and the way he feels about Harry. I hope you all enjoy this chapter! From Draco's POV**

**Chapter 6: Who's is this?**

I made my way quickly back to my flat willing myself not to turn around and go back to Harry. I knew he'd be okay, but I couldn't help but feel this emptiness within me. I didn't feel it when I was with him, but when I was away it throbbed in my chest painfully.

As soon as I got inside I poured myself a glass of firewhiskey. My nerves felt like they were coming unraveled. Where was this coming from? It's just Harry Potter. It's not like he's some gorgeous god or something. Oh who am I kidding, he is gorgeous, smart, sexy, funny, and so loyal.

I leaned back against my counter, my cup against my lips, and my other hand pressed against my chest. I needed a distraction. I hoped my work would help because I definitely had lots of it to do. I sighed and carried my glass into my study. I stared at the huge pile in front of me and knew that I would be substantially distracted.

I sat down and began sifting through the pile. I set to work and before I knew it, it was nearly midnight. I sighed relieved that I had distracted myself enough. Harry never left the back of my mind, but at least he wasn't at the forefront for awhile. I wondered why I was pining for a man that definitely didn't have the same feelings as I did. I was too tired to address the question. I pushed away from my desk and clicked off the lights in my office. I hoped that Harry was doing okay tonight and not thinking things he shouldn't.

"Why do I even care so much?" I mused aloud as I went through my flat turning off lights here and there. I knew exactly why I cared so much because I had fallen for the green eyed, golden boy awhile ago.

I went through my typical nightly routine of brushing my teeth and washing my face and so on and then I climbed into bed relishing in the softness of the sheets and how cool it felt against my skin.

I sighed and reached for my journal. I had a lot on my mind tonight and writing definitely seemed like the right thing to do, but my body had other things in mind for I had closed my eyes for just a moment to gather my thoughts and the next thing I knew I was waking up to sunlight streaming through my windows in the most unappealing way. I groaned and turned onto my side letting my journal fall with a thump to the ground. I opened my eyes and looked at my clock. My eyes widened and I rubbed them fiercely as I double and triple checked the time. I was late! For the first time in my life I was running late!

I jumped out of bed and quickly dressed, spelling my teeth clean and putting a refreshing charm on myself so I didn't look so disheveled. I ran for the door and flew to the lift. It opened surprisingly quickly for me, but then the time down took forever. I held my breath as the lift stopped at Harry's floor. I wasn't sure if I was prepared to see him this morning. I knew I didn't look as crisp as usual and that I probably looked really tired since I hadn't had my morning cup of tea. I blushed in embarrassment at how awful my appearance must be.

The doors slid open and standing in the opening was the man who had been preoccupying my mind for a very long time. He looked utterly beautiful this morning. Did I just refer to Harry as beautiful? My face flushed again and I noticed that when Harry's eyes met mine that he flushed as well. I lifted an eyebrow in question and he only blushed further and gave me a tentative smile.

He stepped in and I noticed that he was holding two mugs of tea which made my mouth water and my stomach ache for my morning tea. I also noticed that he looked to be in a good mood and that he was very well put together this morning. He was wearing a nice pair of black slacks and a green button up shirt that made his eyes just pop. Even his hair was impeccable this morning which it rarely was.

"Good morning Draco, how are you today?" Harry asked, breaking me out of my appraisal of him. I shook my head quickly to clear it.

"I'm running late. I look horrible this morning because of that," I said. I inwardly groaned at the way I sounded. It was like I was a stuck-up snob or something. I felt Harry's eyes on me and I turned to look at him. He was studying me and then he gave me a lopsided grin that I realized I totally loved.

"I think you look great, but here, maybe this will help get you started," he replied as he handed me one of the mugs he had. I didn't hesitate to grab it and gulped greedily at it. He was chuckling at me and I had the grace to blush. I took a calmer sip of the tea and noticed that it was perfect. The exact way I make it every morning, but how could Harry possibly know that?

"Thank you. You have no idea how much this has fixed my day already. How are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'm doing well actually. You were right by the way," Harry replied.

I lifted an eyebrow again, surprised at his words. "Right about what?"

He smiled at me, melting my insides. "About writing in a journal. It helped a lot and I slept really well last night because of it so thank you," he explained.

I smiled and nodded. The lift doors opened once again signaling that it was time for us to part and I found that I didn't want to. Harry gestured for me to go first and I found myself grinning like a teenage girl with a crush. I tried to cover the smile by taking another sip of my tea.

"I hope your tea is okay. I wasn't entirely positive of what you'd like so I just made it like I make mine," Harry commented as we walked to the front door.

I stopped and looked at him. "This is how you make your tea as well?" I asked.

He looked at me in confusion and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, yeah. It's the only way I'll drink it. Lots of sugar," he replied.

"How did you know I'd be in the lift this morning?" I asked him. I had wondered that. Did he make the tea just for me or he just had the extra one and covered it with making it for me?

He blushed and glanced away. "Well, I just kind of took a chance. I made two teas in case you were on the lift like I was hoping and if you weren't well then I'd just take it to work with me and have two teas this morning," he explained. He ran a hand nervously through his hair and shrugged.

I couldn't help, but grin at his cuteness. Oh Merlin, now he's cute? What the hell? It's not like he's a little pygmy puff or something_. _"Well, thank you. You're my hero," I said as I lifted his mug at him.

He grinned at me. "I'll save you any day." His eyes widened as he realized what he had said and he blushed deeply again. If only he knew how much that pleased me to hear.

We stood there awkwardly for a moment and then we both tried to say something at the same time making the awkwardness even worse. We both shifted nervously and then finally I spoke. "I should go. I'm already rather late as it is. Have a good day and I'll see you around, okay?" I told him.

He nodded and waved. I turned reluctantly to walk away.

"Wait, Draco!" he called. I spun around almost too enthusiastically and I had to hold myself back from running back to him so I just stood there looking at him. "Listen, do you want to come have dinner with me tonight? A thank you for everything that you've done for me the past couple of days in a non Harry's-gone-crazy kind of way?"

I stared at him in shock for a moment and he shifted nervously again. I wasn't sure what to say or do. No one had ever asked me over for dinner before. I stood there dumbly looking at him. He shifted again.

"Um, its okay if you don't want to. I mean, I understand. Sorry I asked. I'll see you around," he said. He quickly turned and started walking away. I stared after him for a moment and then shook my head to clear it. I ran after him and reached out to grab his arm whirling him around to look at me. I was breathless and it took me a moment to regain my breath. I really had to hit the gym again.

"Hold on, Harry. I'm sorry. I was just surprised. I mean no one has ever asked me over for dinner so it just caught me off guard. I'd love to come over," I told him honestly. His face brightened at my answer.

"Okay, great. Will seven be alright?" he asked me.

"Yeah that sounds great. I'll see you then," I said to him with a smile. He grinned and waved at me again before turning around and walking away to the apparition point. I turned in the opposite direction feeling as if I was floating on a cloud. I felt very light and very happy. I didn't even care anymore that I was late for work.

**XXXX**

To many people's surprise I had gotten a job working in the law department, more specifically the rights of Muggle-borns. I realized after the war that there was no difference between Pure-bloods, Half-bloods, and Muggle-borns. We all had magical ability and we were all highly capable of doing the same things with magic. Surprisingly, my parents supported my decision to work in this field as well. Since it was fairly new however there was a lot of work to be done. Tonight was no different.

We had been given a huge case file of several Muggle-born children from different families that were not being treated very well. We were trying to sort through the case and figure out a solution to the problem. I was going to be here all night at the rate we were going. I glanced at the clock and noted that it was 6:45. I had to get in touch with Harry as soon as possible and let him know that I wouldn't make it for dinner, but then I became distracted when a group of aurors informed us that two children in a Muggle family had spontaneously used magic and were now kicked out of their house on one of the coldest nights to date.

I didn't arrive back at work until nearly ten and it wasn't until eleven that I was able to head home. I couldn't shake this horrible feeling that I had in my stomach about Harry. I hoped that he wasn't too angry and that he understood why I couldn't come tonight and that I'd love to reschedule.

I sighed when the doors opened to his floor. I stepped out and glanced down the hallway at his door. Lying in front of his door was a tray with some food and a note taped to the top. I felt my stomach drop as I approached it. I could see that he had kept a warming charm on it, but because he left it outside his door told me that he was angry at me and that he didn't want to see me. I picked up the note and read it.

_Draco,_

_I wanted to leave this for you so that you might be able to enjoy the dinner I made for us tonight. I'm sure you had something more important come up than dinner here. I hope you like it and I'll see you around. Good night._

_Harry_

I groaned as I reread the note. His words weren't all that harsh, but I knew underneath that I had hurt his feelings by not showing up or at least letting him know why I wasn't there. I picked up the tray and trudged to the lift. I felt awful and definitely not up for eating much of anything. Harry and I had made such progress and I was sure that this would set us back big time.

The lift opened again and I walked sullenly to my door. What an awful day. I set the tray down at the table and lifted the lid. Harry had made Shepherds Pie and my mouth watered at the sight. I summoned a fork from the kitchen and took a tentative bite. The food burst in my mouth and my taste buds came alive. Harry had used lamb instead of beef and I found myself feeling even more like shit.

I ate all that Harry had left for me and savored every bite. Another thing to add to the list of why Harry was so wonderful. I cleaned up the dishes and went to bed. I made sure to set my alarm this time. I noticed that my journal was still sitting on the ground where I had left it that morning. I picked it up and reached for the pen as I settled into bed.

I reread the entry from the night of Harry's breakdown. When I turned the page to a blank one I gasped as I realized that there was something written there, in my handwriting, but not my words or thoughts. I read it over and over again trying to make sense of it. Had someone written in my journal and copied my handwriting? Had someone come into my home and just decided they wanted to write in my journal? No, that's not possible. Why would someone do that? Besides I didn't sense that my wards had been broken. I looked down at the entry again and read it one more time.

_August 1, 1999_

_It's the day after one of the biggest days of my life. I never thought I'd get to the point that I had, but I did. I kept things to myself for far too long and it was only a matter of time before it would all come tumbling out. But then it was as if Merlin wasn't ready to let me go for he sent me a Silver Angel in the form of someone I never expected. That's what I'll call them, Silver Angel. I had reached the deepest point in my life and I was surprised that someone was there to pull me out of the pit that I had made for myself._

_They were the last person I'd expect, but now that they're here I can't seem to want to be away from them. Maybe it's because I feel that they are my crutch, my support? Never in a million years would I expect to have them here in my life that way. They are not the person I thought they were. They've grown up since school and I really believe that we can be friends and that we can possibly be more than just friends. More than friends? Wow, I have no idea where that came from. I don't think that's even remotely possible. I'm too messed up for a relationship with anyone right now let alone them. They could do so much better, as if they'd even want to think of me in that way at all. So many things to think about._

_My friends are being a little odd. Chocolate was really careful around me today. I don't know why they felt that they had to be like that with me. I'm not some precious china that's going to break. Okay so maybe that's not completely true, but it's not like they have to treat me like I'm a baby or something. It was rather frustrating. Don't even get me started on Fire. They were just as bad because they were trying __**too**__ hard. That's the nice thing about Silver Angel. They acted normal and treated me like a normal person. I have no idea what's going to happen between us if anything more than just friendship. I feel better now though. So far they have been right about a lot of things. This helps._

I sat back and thought about what this person was writing about. It seemed that something major had happened to them. Maybe they were hiding something from their friends and family and somehow the secret came out? And it sounds like they had their own personal angel, was it some kind of metaphor or something? It also seemed that he wanted more from this Silver Angel. I wondered if Silver Angel felt the same. It intrigued me and I wondered if there would be more that would appear and if my own would appear in their journal or if this was just a fluke. I was very curious, so I began to write about my day and my thoughts about Harry, hoping that tomorrow would show another entry from this same person.


	7. A Dinner Invitation

**A/N: Hey guys! Here's a new chapter for this story! Now we get to see Harry's point of view on dinner! Also, we'll get a first look at Draco's journal entry. Remember, our boys are going to be a bit dense when it comes to the journal entries :) Also, I've finished the next chapter, but I'm not posting it quite yet, but I think it's pretty damn fantastic ;) Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7: A Dinner Invitation**

When I got up this morning I was hoping that I'd be able to see Draco today. I made extra tea and guessed on how he might like it. I figured since we both loved chocolate chip pancakes, that making it sweet would be a good guess. I wasn't sure if I'd see him this morning, but for some reason I had a feeling that I would. I could tell I had a bounce in my step as I got ready this morning. I had a nice healthy breakfast and had a nice, hot shower and my hair surprisingly managed to cooperate with me. Today was definitely going to be a fantastic day.

My morning progressed rather nicely. I did run into Draco in the lift and he loved the way I made the tea. He looked absolutely gorgeous this morning. Yes, Draco Malfoy is gorgeous. I am not ashamed to think of him that way either. He said he was running late and didn't look good, but damn if that's how he looks running late than he can run late anytime. Okay, that might be a bit much.

I was thrilled that he accepted my dinner invitation. I wasn't sure how I felt about the fact that he'd never been asked to come over for dinner by anyone. I suppose I could see it when we were in school, but since then? It didn't seem right at all.

When I arrived at work, Hermione was standing behind the counter staring off into space. Her eyes immediately focused on me when I walked in and I knew instantly that my good mood would not go missed by her.

"Harry, you look wonderful today!" she exclaimed happily.

I tried to school my features into a cool grin, but it didn't work and it turned into a very cheesy, my heart is soaring, grin. She smiled brightly and walked around the counter to get a closer look at me.

"What happened?" she asked.

I sighed. "Before I say anything let me just apologize for my behavior last night. I was being very erratic and I didn't mean to interrupt everyone's night."

She waved off my apology. "It's no problem, Harry. I understand. We all do. I'd probably be doing the same thing too if I was hopped up on caffeine," she replied with a wink.

I blushed. "Well, anyway, I am sorry. After I woke up I felt much better."

"Oh? Why is that?" Hermione asked.

"Um, no particular reason," I replied slyly. I walked around her as I moved back towards the office to put my tea down and check on the daily schedule. Hermione always had something planned for a day whether it was moving books around or stocking shelves or anything else she seemed to come up with. Today was no different. We had gotten the new school books in and I felt myself reminiscing about the good times in school. I was so caught up that I didn't notice that Hermione had followed me into the office.

"Harry, what's going on?" she asked placing her hands on her hips.

I sighed again wondering how she'd react to the news that I was falling for our old school nemesis. She'd probably take it better than Ron so I figured I'd take my chances. "Hermione, I think I'm falling for Draco," I finally responded. I didn't look at her right away and I waited impatiently for her to start freaking out on me, but she didn't. She just stood there looking dumbfounded.

After several minutes of silence and Hermione still looking lost, I was finally able to look her in the eye. It seemed to knock her out of her shock because her wide, brown eyes met my own.

"You think you're falling for him?" she asked, repeating my statement.

"Yes, I think so. I mean, Hermione, he was there at the lowest point of my life and he didn't run away. He didn't go off and blab to all his friends. He hasn't done anything like that. He's been there for me in ways that you and Ron can't quite be and I don't mean that in a bad way. There's only so much you two can do for me and Draco just picks up the rest and then some. He's a really great guy and I want to get to know him better," I explained. I realized I probably sounded utterly ridiculous, but I couldn't help it, it's how I felt.

Hermione continued to stare at me and work her lip as she thought over my statement. I busied myself pushing some papers around on my desk and waited once again for her to regain her voice. Finally, she cleared her throat. "Harry, I, well, I'm not really sure what to think about this," she responded.

I looked up at her expecting this response. "Well, despite what you think about this I want to see what happens with us. I mean I don't even know if he's into blokes at all. Just don't say anything to anyone about this. I'm not sure where it's going to go, if anywhere, so please keep it between us," I replied.

"Well, okay, Harry, but I hope you know what you're doing. I mean you just went through a lot and I don't want you to fall back into the habits you had before," Hermione explained.

I sighed. She was skirting around the obvious wording for what happened to me. "Mione, you can say it. I cracked up. I had a breakdown. I lost it. Whatever you want to call it. It's almost like Voldemort all over again. Saying his name was taboo and talking about what happened and using a code name for it is just the same. I had a breakdown. It's okay to say it."

Hermione looked away and a small tear escaped. I sighed again and reached out to pull her into a hug. I knew she was feeling ridiculously guilty for what happened to me, but it wasn't really her fault or anyone else's. It was mine. Simple as that. "I'm so sorry, Harry. I feel like I failed you as your best friend," she cried.

"Shh, Hermione, it's okay. I am fine now. It's not your fault. It's mine for keeping it all to myself," I replied.

She stepped back from my hug and crossed her arms. "Malfoy noticed and you guys weren't even friends! I'm your best friend, Harry, and I didn't even notice that you were spiraling out of control! I see you every day!" she wailed.

I closed my eyes. This was not a discussion I wanted to have right at the moment. "Mione, maybe that's why you didn't see it? You see me every day so maybe I just hid it well enough from you? Draco, saw me once in awhile and usually when I was alone. Don't beat yourself up over this. Look, we've got to open up soon and with it getting closer to school I think we're going to have a lot of customers coming in. Freshen up and I'll unlock the doors, okay?" I suggested with my best smile.

She searched my face for a minute and then nodded. I hugged her again quickly before I started walking towards the front of the store.

"Oh yeah, I invited him over for dinner!" I called back to her. I heard her gasp, but heard nothing else from her. I chuckled to myself. As I expected there was already a line of people waiting outside the store. This happened every year at this time. For some reason Hogwarts starting and Harry Potter went hand in hand. We had a steady stream of customers, but August was always a booming month for us. At least last year was anyway, and we projected that this year would be the same, if not more.

I opened the door and a rush of customers came in. Of course, they were all asking for the new school term's books as well as wanting to ask Hermione and me millions of questions about our time at Hogwarts. That mostly came from the very excited first years. We answered most of the questions and luckily for us they tended to stay away from questions about the war. I may have cracked a long time ago if I was constantly asked about the war.

The day went by quickly due to all the customers that we had. Hermione didn't mention a word about dinner tonight with Draco. She kept herself busy, but I knew she was working it over in her mind. She was always a fantastic multi-tasker. Soon it was nearly closing time and we were ushering the last family of the day out the door. Once I closed the door behind them, locked it, and displayed the Closed sign, I heard an impatient breath being exhaled from behind me. I sighed for what felt like the hundredth time today and turned to face her.

She had her hands on her hips and was tapping her left foot. She was obviously agitated. "Harry, I'm not sure I'm happy about this dinner tonight. What if he hurts you?"

I closed my eyes. She was determined to ruin my good mood, wasn't she? "Hermione, anyone could hurt me. No matter whom I date or who I'm friends with, they could hurt me. Please just say, 'Harry, have a wonderful dinner with that snarky Slytherin and tell me all about it in the morning.' That's all I want from you," I told her.

She tried to fight the smile that was pulling at the corners of her mouth, but she couldn't help it. She smiled and then giggled. "Fine, Harry, have a wonderful dinner with that snarky Slytherin and tell me all about it in the morning," she repeated. I smiled at her. "But, if he hurts one hair on your head, he's going to wish he lived, far, far, away from me," she warned. I chuckled and gave her a one armed hug.

I kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, Mione, and I will definitely tell you all about it tomorrow," I teased. I walked for the front door and gave her a quick wave before departing.

**XXXX**

When I arrived back at my flat I started getting nervous. I had an hour before Draco was supposed to be here. I started putting some things together in the kitchen. I decided on Shepherds Pie. It reminded me of Hogwarts for one and two it was one of my favorite meals so why not? I decided to make it a bit classier by using lamb instead of beef. I thought that Draco would appreciate that.

It was ready right at seven. I quickly set the table and placed each pie on the plate in an appealing way. I was satisfied with the table setting and even had a bottle of wine chilling in an ice bucket. It was going to be perfect.

I sat on my couch and fidgeted. My eyes were on the clock. It was now 7:05 and he still wasn't here yet. Maybe he got held up at work? I didn't really quite know exactly what he did, but I guessed it was possible. I stood then and walked over to my bookshelf and started scanning through my book titles, trying to distract myself. I tried sitting down again, this time in my recliner, but that didn't help either. Then I started pacing. I was watching the clock and watching the minutes tic by, 7:05 turned into 7:30, 7:30 turned into 8:00 and so on. I checked out my windows to see if an owl was looking for me, but I didn't see one. I checked to make sure my floo was working and it was. I turned away from the window and glanced down at the now cooled down food. I glanced at the clock again. It was nearly 8:30. I peeked out into the hallway, but didn't see nor hear anyone.

I closed the door again and leaned against it. He wasn't coming. Maybe I had pushed too fast? I mean here it is we've only been talking a couple of days and then I ask him over for dinner. He probably is sitting up in his flat right now completely oblivious to the fact that my stomach is in knots and that I have been pacing for nearly two hours. The least he could have done was send me a message or something, letting me know that he wasn't coming, even if he didn't want to. I sighed and walked towards the table. I sent the bottle of wine back to the fridge. I placed Draco's meal on a tray and wrote him a quick note. I placed it out in the hall by my door, on the off chance that he just got held up at work.

I ate my dinner in absolute silence and found myself unable to enjoy it nearly as much as I would if Draco had been sitting across from me. I didn't finish all of it and banished it all away. I flicked off all my lights as I made my way to my room. I felt almost heartbroken. It was the only word that seemed to go with the feeling I had at the moment. I had hoped that Draco had changed, but maybe it had been a fluke? Maybe he just helped me the past two days because he was feeling particularly sympathetic or maybe he just pitied me?

I had to stop these thoughts from going through my head because I wanted to drink a whole bottle of firewhiskey at the moment. I decided to take a cold shower and get into bed. Maybe I'd put a mindless movie on that allowed me to completely blank out on tonight with Draco? I was so sure that he would come and enjoy the evening with me. I was so sure that I wasn't the only one with changing feelings. I guess I was wrong. I sighed as I undressed and got into the shower. The cold water felt good and all my mind could do was focus on the cold.

After stepping out of the shower I scanned my movie collection and picked out a movie that promised no thinking. I debated about writing in my journal tonight, but I decided that it wouldn't do me any good tonight. I fell asleep during the movie and my dreams weren't anywhere near as pleasant as the one from the night before.

**XXXX**

I woke in the middle of the night from an especially terrifying dream. I had dreamt about death and the war. I saw each and every person who had died for me dying again. I was sweating and shaking. I clicked my light on and looked around my room making sure that I wasn't back on the grounds of Hogwarts. I was in my own bedroom, in my own flat, with no one, but myself. I rested my head against the headboard and looked over at my nightstand where my journal was sitting. I reached over, fully planning on writing about my dream. I opened it and turned past my entry and gasped. Someone else had written in my journal.

I sat up fearfully looking around. Had someone come into my home and read my entry from yesterday? Had they then written in my journal, defiling it? I laughed aloud at the absurdity of my questions. Why would someone come into my flat and write in my journal and in my exact handwriting? That's strange. Must be some magical thing that I didn't know about. I sighed wondering if my journal entry had showed up in theirs as well. I shrugged not really caring either way. It's not like they'd know who I was.

After I debunked my breaking-in theory I felt curiosity inching up my back. I wondered what the person had written about. It was fair game, right? Technically it's written in my journal, right? I grinned and began reading.

_August 2, 1999_

_I feel like so much has happened in such a short amount of time. Leone was a bit nutters last night. It was rather humorous though. He was running around like an excited child who just got a bike for his birthday. It was wonderful to see him so bright. Too bad he had to take a bunch of things to end up that way. All well, I don't think he'll go down that road again. He'll probably use natural things from now on. I think I've really messed up though with him already. We've made such progress the past couple of days and then I went and screwed it up today. He asked me on a date and I didn't show. It's not like I didn't want to. Merlin, I wanted to go so bad, but work had other things planned for me. I was there 'til nearly midnight trying to sort out the big mess that we were handed. I am so angry with myself. It would have taken me all of two minutes to get a message to Leone, but even that I couldn't do._

_Did I subconsciously not want to go on this date with him tonight? No, that can't be right at all! Of course, I wanted to have this date with him. I mean, he's gorgeous, wonderful, smart, kind, and did I mention gorgeous? He's such a nice, fresh breath of air that I've been missing in my life. Who knew? But, I've messed it up, I'm sure. He'll never forgive me and he's already so fragile. What if I set him back and he'll have another breakdown or something? Oh, Merlin! I can't think about that right now. I'll talk to him in the morning and we'll get it straightened out. Simple as that. Besides, I think tomorrow is his day off. Yes, I'll definitely talk to him tomorrow._

The entry ended there and I found my mind bursting with possibilities. Who could this entry belong to? This person is obviously in love with this Leone person and they think they've royally screwed up any chance they had with them. If Leone was understanding and everything, then he should totally forgive them. I was very intrigued by this person's writing. Then again, Leone seems very babyish. Why would, oh what can I call this person? I'll just call them Hopeful. I don't know if it's a girl or a bloke so we'll just go with Hopeful. I mean they're hoping that they'll be forgiven, so yeah that's what I'll call them. Why would Hopeful want someone who sounded babyish? I mean getting upset over missing a date, come on, it can happen to anyone. I sat up a bit straighter laughing to myself. Who was I to talk? This Leone person sounded a bit like me. I got all upset about Draco not showing up. Maybe it's the same situation, he got held up at work like Hopeful. I wasn't sure, but it made me realize that I shouldn't be too hurt about Draco not showing up. No need to get all upset until I had all the facts. Yes, we'll go with that.

Anyway, this completely distracted me from my dream. I fell asleep again, the journal entry swimming in my mind.


	8. I'm Sorry

**A/N: What can I say about this chapter? It's from Draco's point of view, something exciting happens, no journal entry in this one or the next one. Oh and the next chapter, I adore it as I do this one ;) Enjoy!**

**Chapter 8: I'm Sorry**

I woke the next morning with a throbbing headache. It must have been from the stress of work the night before and missing my dinner date with Harry. Oh, Harry, I sighed, thinking about the beautiful Gryffindor. How could I possibly make this up to him? I'd probably set us back days, if not years by not showing up last night. I groaned and placed my hands over my face muttering stupid, stupid, stupid, over and over in my head.

I sat up suddenly, a brilliant idea coming to mind. I would go down to the bakery down the block and pick up an assortment of breakfast items and some tea and surprise Harry. Yes, I was definitely going to do that.

I jumped out of bed, quickly showered and dressed and then ran out of my apartment without a second look back. I got into the lift and pressed the down button. I was grinning at my plan. It would be brilliant and Harry would have no reason not to forgive me.

The lift stopped at Harry's floor and I found myself smoothing my clothes and holding my breath expecting Harry to be behind the doors when they opened. Unfortunately, it was not Harry, but Granger instead. I let out the breath I was holding and schooled my features.

She looked at me in surprise for a moment and then stepped on. "Good morning, Malfoy. Off to work?" she asked politely. She must not have talked to Harry last night.

"Um, no, I'm going to the bakery to pick up some things for Harry and I for breakfast," I responded.

Her eyes widened in shock, but she quickly recovered and looked back at him with indifference. "Oh? So you guys had a nice evening then last night?" she questioned.

I held my breath for a moment. Do I tell her the honest truth or do I lie and save the tongue lashing that I'm sure I'd get from her? I wasn't sure what to say in response. "Do you by any chance know what Harry's favorite pastry is? I want to surprise him," I replied deciding that I'd simply avoid the question. Of course, this is Hermione Granger and she didn't earn the title of smartest witch of our generation for nothing.

"You didn't show up did you?" she accused. She had crossed her arms and was glaring at me in a way that made me very uncomfortable.

I knew I was caught. There was no way I could talk my way out of this. "No, I didn't. I got held up at work," I replied dejectedly letting out the breath I had been holding.

Her eyes lit up in anger and she stomped her foot. If it would have been anyone else getting this treatment instead of me, I would have been laughing my arse off at how absurd she looked. But since it wasn't anyone else all I could do was want to cower into the corner of the lift.

"I knew you were going to do this to him! I warned him! I said, 'Harry, what if he hurts you?' and you know what he told me? He told me that he could get hurt by anyone and that he just wanted me to tell him to 'have a wonderful evening and tell me about it in the morning'! You are just the same! He says you've changed, but you haven't!" Hermione shrieked.

I cowered further into the corner, her words cutting me like glass. I have changed since school. I'm not the git I used to be and I really did care about Harry, but she was right, I know I had hurt him last night by not showing up. I sighed, placing my head in my hands and sagging my shoulders. "I know I screwed up, Granger. I wanted to be there last night so bad, but I couldn't leave work. We got handed a huge case and then these Muggle-borns experienced some accidental magic and got kicked out of their house and we had to get them set up somewhere," I explained, my voice cracking with my emotion.

Hermione gasped and I heard her take a tentative step forward. I looked up, completely at a loss of what to do to remedy the situation. The words that Granger had said to me made my breakfast idea seem ridiculous. The lift doors opened and we both stood there for a moment not moving, but then we both stepped out and walked to the front doors not saying a single word to one another.

When we stopped outside, Hermione turned to me. "Is that really what happened last night?" she asked in a cautious voice.

I nodded. "You can call my office right now and they will tell you exactly that. You could even ask the Weaslette. She works in the auror department. She'd tell you the same thing. I couldn't get away to even get a message to him," I explained. I wasn't sure if she believed me. Hell, she had no reason to. I've never been really the trustworthy type to her so why should she trust me now? I can be trusted, believe me, but to someone you tortured throughout school, trusting was the last thing on their mind.

"He likes blueberry scones, toast with marmalade, porridge, cereal, and tea. One or any combination of those would win him over. For some reason I believe you, Malfoy, and I will call to double check because I love Harry and he's my best friend and I want him to be happy. I wasn't there for him like I should have been before, but this time I plan to be there. Don't break his heart or I promise, I will break you," she warned. She gave me one last look before she turned and walked away.

I stared after her until long after she'd apparated away. Had she just said she believed me? I would be lying if I said I wasn't shocked. I turned and walked in the opposite direction towards the bakery. I now knew what Harry would most likely eat from the bakery so I was ready to take the beating I deserved from him and just hoped that my breakfast surprise would work in my favor.

**XXXX**

I stood outside Harry's flat taking deep breaths. In one hand I had a bag of assorted pastries and in the other I was caring two teas in a drink carrier. I was going over in my mind what I was going to say to him. I sighed again and just as I was about to set the bag down and knock on the door it was thrown open and I was greeted with a sleepy eyed Harry Potter.

He stood there staring at me for several seconds. I wasn't sure if he really grasped that I was standing there with tea and breakfast. He looked behind him and I felt a slight twinge of jealousy that he was looking for someone that might be in his flat. He turned back to me though and studied me. I stood there looking like an idiot I'm sure. I shifted nervously.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" he asked his voice husky from sleep.

I couldn't help, but feel hurt by the use of my last name not that I didn't deserve it. "I came to apologize for last night and bring you breakfast," I replied quietly.

He looked from the tea to the bag as if noticing for the first time that I had something with me. He shrugged his shoulders and stepped to the side allowing me inside. This wasn't going very well so far.

I stepped into his flat and set the items on his small dining table. The window shades were drawn and when I turned to look to where Harry had gone I jumped back when I saw him standing right behind me. I hadn't realized that he wasn't much of a morning person until today. He did look rather sexy this morning though. He had on a black t-shirt and green pajama bottoms that fit him nicely. I couldn't help, but check him out. I don't think he really noticed because he was still standing there staring at me.

"Harry, are you alright?" I asked him in concern.

His eyes looked slightly glazed over and I wondered for a moment if he'd drank a whole bottle of firewhiskey again. He shook his head and took his glasses off rubbing his eyes roughly. He replaced his glasses and flicked his hand at the blinds. They opened slightly letting in enough light to brighten the room, but not blind its occupants.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well is all. Why did you bring me breakfast?" he asked.

I studied him for a moment wondering if he was keeping something from me, but in his sleepy haze I couldn't really see if he was hiding something or not. I pulled a chair out and gestured for him to sit down. He looked at me quizzically for a moment and then sat. I walked to the other side and sat down as well. I started pulling things out of the bag and summoned a couple of plates from the kitchen. Harry's eyes were drooping closed and I had to fight the urge to chuckle.

"I brought you breakfast because I missed dinner last night. I'm really sorry about that. I wanted to be here more then you know, but I couldn't," I explained. I looked up at him sincerely and noticed that his eyes were wide with shock it seemed. I gave him a questioning look and he blushed.

"Why couldn't you be here last night?" he asked.

"I got held up at work," I began. His mouth set in a fine line and he rolled his eyes. I blushed and felt my anger rising a bit. "Mind if I explain before you roll your eyes at me?"

Harry looked away shamefully. "Sorry," he muttered.

I didn't respond to his apology. I knew he was still hurting from me not showing up, but at least he could listen and then judge. I sighed and then explained. "My team and I were handed a large case involving Muggle-borns who are not treated very well in their families. We are trying to find a suitable place for them where they can thrive and not be held back. We were working on that last night and then some aurors showed up and told us that two Muggle-born children had been kicked out of their home because they used accidental magic. It was just a very big mess that I had to sort through last night."

"And you couldn't get a message to me?" he asked.

"No. We were so busy; I couldn't even go to the loo. It was just a mess and I'm so sorry, Harry, I really am," I apologized again.

He studied me for several moments and I held his gaze imploring him to believe me. Finally, he nodded and reached for a blueberry scone. "I believe you, Draco," he replied quietly.

I couldn't help but smile brightly. I felt this warmth in my belly bursting to every inch of my body. I was so happy that he forgave me that I could kiss him. Wait, what? My eyes widened at my own thoughts and it did not go missed by Harry. He looked at me in confusion and I felt myself blushing profusely.

"You alright?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, totally. Just, um… how's your scone?" I asked changing the subject.

He continued to look at me peculiarly, but decided to just leave it alone for the moment. "It's really good. How did you know it was one of my favorites?"

"I ran into Granger in the lift and I asked her," I replied. I didn't want to mention that we had a bit of a row about missing dinner the night before.

He nodded and continued to nibble on his scone and drink his tea in silence. I settled on a butter croissant to eat. We sat in silence for several minutes, both lost in our own thoughts.

"Where did those children go?" Harry asked.

"The ones from last night?" he nodded. "We set them up in a temporary Wizarding home. We've got foster parents throughout the Wizarding community that take kids in like this all the time. It's all we have right now," I explained.

"Wow, those poor kids. I wouldn't wish that on anyone," he commented.

I nodded in agreement. We sat in silence again and I suddenly felt this burning need to ask him something personal. "Do you want to have kids some day?"

He looked up at me startled. He started to cough on his tea and his face was turning red with his spluttering. "What?" he choked out.

"Do you want kids in the future?" I asked again albeit uncomfortably.

He ran his hand through his hair several times and wouldn't quite meet my gaze. I didn't understand this reaction at all. He sighed then and met my gaze. It hit me to the core it was so intense. It was like he was challenging me to make fun of him. What would I make fun of him about?

"If things were different I would definitely love to have kids one day, but as it stands now, that is not going to happen," he replied almost bitterly.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, very curious about his reasons.

"Do you have to ask?" he retorted. I shrugged in response. He sighed again and bit his lip. "First of all, with the way my mental state is, bringing a child into my life is not a good idea. Plus, it's not like I have a potential wife lying around able to provide a child for me," he explained. I felt he was skirting around another reason with his response and the way that he looked away at the wife comment.

"Well, both of those are only temporary. You're already mending mentally and you'll meet the right girl one day and then you'll have tons of beautiful children," I responded.

He laughed at my statement. Harry actually laughed at me. I was flabbergasted. I didn't recall saying anything funny. I crossed my arms and looked at him in confusion.

"Sorry, you're right about my mental state, but my right girl issue will never be fixed. There is no right girl for me," he replied.

I didn't understand what he was saying. No right girl for him? How can that be? I mean, what girl wouldn't want to marry, Harry bloody-freaking Potter? I know there's no right girl out there for me because I don't want a girl. I'm into blokes, well okay, just one bloke, but blokes in general. I know that, but it doesn't mean I can't have children one day. That's when it hit me, was Harry bitter because he was into blokes too and he assumed that he wouldn't be able to have children?

"I don't understand," I said, settling on playing dumb then coming outright and asking the question I truly wanted to know.

He let out a groan and pushed back from the table. He stood and began pacing back and forth, next to the table. I watched him in wonder, waiting for him to finally admit what I already knew.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just don't understand why you think you won't find the right girl," I explained.

He threw his hands up and turned to face me with his intense emerald gaze. His gaze was penetrating and I caught myself getting pulled into it. "The reason I won't find the right girl is because I don't want to," he replied.

I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion. "You want to be a bachelor the rest of your life?" I asked.

He groaned again and closed his eyes. "No! The reason I don't want to marry a girl is because I'm not into girls. I like blokes. I'm gay, okay? Now go have your laugh and get out of my flat!" he yelled in exasperation.

I had to fight the grin that was threatening to break my confused state. Those two words were music to my ears. I couldn't believe it; maybe I had a chance after all! I could literally sing at the top of my lungs then. I felt myself standing then and walking towards Harry. He opened his eyes and stared at me as I approached him. His eyes grew wider as I got closer.

"Harry, I'm not going to laugh at you," I whispered. My voice was deeper than usual and I saw the spark of need flash in Harry's beautiful green eyes.

"Why?" he asked, his voice shaking.

"Because I think it's wonderful that you're into blokes," I responded quietly. I was standing nearly toe to toe with him, so close that I could feel the puffs of his warm breath as he breathed in and out rapidly.

"Because it leaves more women for you?" he questioned, teasing in his tone.

I chuckled. He really had no idea that we were on the same team here. "No, I don't want any women either," I replied huskily. I hadn't realized until then just how big Harry's eyes could get. He gulped under my intense gaze and I couldn't help but smirk. I watched him shift nervously and I wondered if I just leaned forward just a bit more and captured his lips would he push me away? I wasn't sure if I was ready for that so I took a half step back out of his bubble of space. He looked slightly relieved and then he looked upset. I didn't move any more. I was trying to figure out what his body was telling me. It didn't take long for me to figure it out because I saw a flash of desire appear in Harry's eyes and then he literally hit me.

He hit me with the sweetest, most delicious kiss I had ever had. I knew my eyes had widened comically because I hadn't expected this. I thought it was going to be me kissing him first, but as always Harry seemed to find a way to surprise me. I closed my eyes and brought my hands up to cradle his face. I tilted my head further to the side to explore his mouth deeper. His hands were resting against my chest in the sweetest way imaginable. Well, it was sweet to me anyway.

Just as soon as it started though, I felt Harry pushing against my chest. I tried to ignore it, but then he shoved me and we split apart and I fell back into the table. He had his hand over his mouth and he was staring at me with those wide eyes of his, but only this time they were filled with fear and insecurity.

"I'm sorry, Draco. I shouldn't have done that," he whispered shaking his head.

"Why not?" I asked him in a pleading voice.

"Because I…I…shouldn't just assume that you're into blokes by your comment. You could just want to be a bachelor forever and here I am kissing you and oh, Merlin, I'm sorry," he cried. I could see tears in his eyes and I didn't understand why.

"Harry, did I not just kiss you back?" he shrugged his shoulders. I stepped over to him and tentatively placed my hands on his waist. He looked up at me with those insecure eyes and I just wanted to kiss it all away. "I did kiss you back and Merlin, it was wonderful. I don't want any women because I want you. I only want you," I told him. I was surprised that I just came out and said that. That was one of my deepest secrets ever. I wanted Harry Potter. No question about it, I wanted him.

"You want me?" he asked in a small voice.

I nodded. "Yes, crazy moods and all."

A small smile started to curve at the corner of his mouth, his utterly kissable mouth that I wanted to kiss again, over and over. I cupped his face in my hands again and ran my thumb across his cheek. I gave him a questioning look, asking for permission to kiss him. I saw his eyes brighten and he gave a slight nod. I smirked, my trademark Malfoy smirk, and watched Harry's eyes cloud over in what I could only hope was arousal. I captured his lips then and watched as he fluttered his eyes closed. Merlin, I was glad I thought to surprise him with breakfast today.


	9. The Perfect Day Off

**A/N: All I can say is holy shit it's been forever since I updated and I am so sorry!!! The biggest reason why is because I finally got a real teaching job so I've been extremely busy with that. I'm hoping that this weekend, being Labor Day weekend, I'll be able to get mostly caught up! This is one of my favorite chapters that I've written so far for this story. To all of you who responded last chapter, thank you so much! It was amazing the amount of reviews and adds I got! Without further adieu here is the next chapter of this story. Thanks!**

**Chapter 9: The Perfect Day Off**

I'm kissing Draco Malfoy. Gods, I'm kissing Draco Malfoy! My mind was screaming at me. Was this even possible? Could this really be happening? Was I dreaming again? If I was, this was the most realistic and beautiful dream I'd ever had. I couldn't believe that his feelings were reciprocated. I had no idea that Draco could possibly like me too. I was a crack pot though and I suddenly felt this sinking feeling in my stomach. Was he kissing me because he wanted to or because he felt sorry for the crazy, gay boy? Oh, Merlin, I could feel my breakfast churning in my stomach. I tried to push the thoughts away, but it just wasn't happening.

I pushed against his chest again and he gripped me harder so I pushed back harder. He finally let me go and stepped away looking at me with guarded, confused eyes. I brought my hand to my mouth again where I could still feel the tingle of his lips on mine. I continued to feel bile coming up my throat. My eyes widened and I turned running quickly from the room. I heard Draco following, but I didn't stop as I flew into my bathroom and retched into my toilet. Draco was there rubbing my back and hopefully holding his breath. It continued to come in waves. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Harry, shh, it's okay. I didn't realize kissing me was going to make you throw up," he joked, half serious.

"Neither did I," I muttered through breaks in my retching. I felt him stop rubbing my back and then he stepped away from me.

"Did I really make you throw up?" he asked in a horrified voice.

Oh, this just wasn't going well at all. I had royally screwed up my first kiss with him because of my stupid insecurities. "No, it's me. Just my stupid head," I muttered angrily. My anger wasn't directed at him of course, but I doubted he knew that.

"Okay, well what did your 'stupid head' tell you?" Draco asked unsurely. He wet a rag and handed it to me and I gratefully wiped my face and flushed the toilet. I stood up on shaky legs and wobbled precariously where I stood and Draco instinctively reached out and grabbed my arm to steady me. I gave him a grateful smile and turned to my sink. I brushed my teeth quickly before responding to him. He stood patiently in my doorway and waited for me to finish up.

When I was finished I walked past him and climbed onto my bed, lying on my stomach, with a pillow tucked underneath me. Draco walked over and sat at the end of my bed. "I'm sorry. It was definitely not you kissing me that made me sick, well not technically," I murmured.

Draco looked over at me looking confused and hurt. "What does not technically mean?" he demanded as he breathed into his hand and sniffed finding nothing that was suspicious.

I closed my eyes. How could I explain my feelings to him? Just come out and tell him it was my stupid insecurities that got in the way? I sighed and rubbed my face. "It was just my insecurities," I whispered, slightly ashamed.

Draco stared at me, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "You're insecurities? What are you talking about?"

"About why you kissed me," I replied.

"I kissed you because I wanted to," Draco replied indignantly.

"Well, yeah, but why?" I asked him, trying to understand his reasons.

Draco looked away and ran a hand through his hair. "Do I have to have a reason to kiss you?"

I shrugged. "Typically when you kiss someone, there's a reason behind it. Did you do it because you like me? Because you feel sorry for me? Because you're horny? To make fun of my gayness?" I questioned.

Draco jerked his head back to me and glared at me. "Wow, remind me never to kiss you again," he said heatedly.

My face fell and I looked away feeling tears pricking at the corner of my eyes. I heard him sigh and then shift his body to face me further.

"I kissed you because I do like you, a lot. I don't feel sorry for you in the sense of it being a reason for kissing you and no, I wasn't just horny either. You'll know when I'm horny, I can guarantee that. And there definitely is going to be no making fun of you about being gay because I'm equally the same. Girls don't do it for me, just green-eyed, heroes of the Wizarding World," he replied cheekily and sincerely.

I nodded and smiled slightly at him. "Well, I… I'm sorry then for getting all weirded out by it. I mean, it was bloody brilliant," I commented.

"But?" Draco asked.

"I don't know. I, well, I don't know," I stammered. I wasn't sure what I was trying to say. I knew I wanted Draco just as much as he wanted me, but I didn't think it would be fair to pull him into my crazy life more than I already had.

"Too much, too soon?" he asked.

I looked up at his sincere gray eyes and I knew that he would understand. "Yeah. It's just, a lot has happened to me the past couple of days and I just want to take things slow. I want something to happen between us, but well, just slowly, I guess," I explained or tried to explain anyway.

He stared at me for several moments, appearing to think things over. I felt that nervous feeling coming back and I wasn't sure if I had said something that was going to push us back even further again.

"You're right. I was just so thrilled to hear that maybe my feelings were reciprocated that I pushed it a bit too far. I apologize. I should let you get some rest and enjoy your day off. I'll see you soon," Draco said as he stood up from my bed. He walked towards my bedroom door and I felt myself wanting to leap out of bed and pull him back.

"No! Wait, don't leave," I called out. Draco stopped and turned to look at me. "Please stay. I'd like to spend the day with you, if you're not busy or have other plans," I said shyly.

"Well, I suppose I could grant your request. I did clear my schedule after all for you," he replied with a wink.

I smiled and rolled off my bed. My stomach felt better, but I felt a bit chilly. I shook with the cold and Draco stepped up next to me with concern. I felt my stomach warm at his proximity and wondered if I was making the right choice to take things slowly. I shook the thought from my mind deciding to stick with my decision. I didn't want to confuse Draco with changing my mind.

"Are you okay?" he asked me as I mulled over my decision.

"Yeah, just a bit chilly is all," I replied as I walked over to my wardrobe and rummaged through it looking for my favorite jumper. I let out a triumphant cry as I pulled it out and slipped it over my head. I realized that it was the same one I had been wearing when Draco had come back to see me after my breakdown. I smelled it as I put it on and I could smell the distinctive scent of Draco. I grinned and turned to look at him. From the look in his eyes I could tell that he recognized the jumper as well.

"That's a nice jumper," he commented quietly.

I looked down and nodded. "It's my favorite," I replied. Just because I wanted to take things slowly didn't mean I couldn't relish in being in his company.

"So, um, what do you want to do?" he asked, shifting his weight nervously. I grinned. This was going to be the first day that we actually spent together without any crazy breakdowns, well for the most part anyway.

"Well, let's finish breakfast and then maybe we could play a game or watch a movie or something," I suggested.

"A movie? What's that?" he asked curiously.

"You don't know what a movie is? Well, I can't say that I'm not surprised. We'll watch a movie then after breakfast," I replied. I walked past him and he turned to follow, his jaw line set.

"And what exactly does that mean, Potter?" he asked, crossing his arms angrily and glaring over at me. I looked up at him from the table and chuckled.

"You're a Pureblood wizard who has barely dealt with Muggle stuff. A movie is mostly a Muggle thing thus I'm not surprised you don't know what it is," I responded.

He glowered down at me so I crossed my arms as well and glared back fighting the smirk that I wanted to give him. We had a staring contest for what seemed like several minutes until he finally broke my gaze and sat down regally across from me. I smirked and shook my head.

"Well, that may be so, but it's not like you know a bunch of Pureblood stuff," he pointed out.

I nodded in agreement. "Yes, that is true, but I'm perfectly fine admitting that. I know I don't know everything."

"And I act as if I do?" he replied haughtily.

I snorted and started to laugh. He glared at me and crossed his arms tighter across his chest. This look made me laugh even more and I nearly fell out of my seat.

"I'm glad I amuse you, Potter," Draco drawled.

This caused me to laugh even more and this time I really did fall out of my seat. I caught a glimpse of concern in Draco's eyes as he looked over the side of the table at me, but when he caught me looking he just glared and looked away. I could see the corners of his mouth twitching to form a smile if not laugh.

I pulled myself up and back into my seat. I took several deep breaths to calm my laughter and finally had it under control enough to look at Draco without laughing. He had lifted one eyebrow at me and I grinned at him.

"May I ask what was so funny?" he questioned.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't remember now."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, but smiled at me. "Finish your breakfast. I feel a bit overdressed in your presence though," he said gesturing to my ruffled jumper and my pajama bottoms. I looked down at my clothes and then over to his. He was wearing a cashmere sweater and black pants. Ever the, dressed to a T, Malfoy. He looked damn sexy so I truly didn't mind.

"I think you look really sexy," I chimed. He blushed at my comment making him look even sexier. I grinned and returned to my scone, nibbling at it. I looked up at him and I saw him gasp and his eyes darken. He stared at me for a moment and I blinked my eyes and it seemed that his eyes darkened further.

"Thank you. Um, I think I might go change into something more comfortable though," he replied as he shifted in his chair. I grinned recognizing the shift. He stood from the table and started walking to the door.

"You could always borrow something of mine, if you want," I suggested shyly. He whirled around to look at me and the look on his face made me blush. His eyes softened and he looked at me in a way that made my stomach do flip flops.

"You'd let me borrow something?" he asked quietly.

I wasn't sure why he was asking me something like that, but I shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, course. I'm sure I've got something in there that would work for you," I told him.

He smiled warmly at me and blushed. "Sorry, no one has ever offered to let me borrow something like that. It's stupid, I know," he said in embarrassment.

I grinned and wondered once again what kind of life he was brought up in aside from what I had seen during school. "You never shared clothes with your friends?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Definitely not. It's considered not taboo, but inappropriate I guess," he explained unsurely.

"Hmm, well, I suppose it's more of a girl thing, but I've let my friends borrow my clothes if they were in a pinch, but if you'd feel more comfortable going up to your flat and getting your own, I understand," I told him.

"No, I mean, no it's fine. Um, where should I look?" Draco replied still looking uncomfortable.

I looked towards my bedroom as I thought about where he'd find something comfortable that was clean. "Um, the second drawer of my dresser. I've got some pajama bottoms and plain t-shirts in there. Basically my pajama drawer," I replied with a smile.

He smiled at me and turned towards my bedroom. When he got in there I heard him rummaging through my dresser. "Oh yeah, don't open my top drawer, you may not like what you see," I called out. I heard him stop rummaging and grinned to myself. I waited to see if he'd take the bait. I was pretty sure that his curiosity would win over and he'd have a peek. Sure enough I heard several pops and a yelp coming from the room and I buried myself in my arms as I started laughing hysterically. He had found my Weasley Wizard Wheezes drawer full of suspicious things that George or Ron would always leave at my place when they came for a visit.

I pounded my fist on the table as I continued to laugh. I laughed until Draco cleared his throat next to me. I stopped and looked up slowly. My breath caught as I took in the sight of him. He was wearing a pair of my gray sleep pants that stopped just at his ankles and a plain black t-shirt that was just a smidgen short and showed just a bit of skin around his stomach. I gulped as I looked him over and wondered if I really should retract my decision to take things slow. The rational part of my brain that sounded a lot like Hermione told me that I needed to stick to it. I gulped and then looked up into his eyes. His expression was bordering on amused and annoyed.

"I warned you," I whispered deciding that I wanted to tackle the annoyed look first. He obviously was amused by me checking him out.

"You warned me on purpose, Potter," he replied.

I blushed and cowered into my chair and gave him a sheepish smile. "You know, you've called me Potter three times already," I pointed out.

"You've annoyed me three times today. I feel the need to call you Potter when you do that," he responded.

I grinned and stood up from the table. "I think I might like it just as much as you calling me Harry," I replied cheekily as I walked past him and over to my movie collection. His eyes followed me and he turned to face me. "By the way, my clothes look good on you." I looked over my shoulder at him and smiled at him. He blushed and walked over to sit down on the couch.

"You know if I didn't know better I'd think you were flirting with me," he commented.

"What's to say I'm not?" I questioned. I gave him a lopsided grin and watched as his cheeks flushed. Oh, he was too easy.

I put in the movie and then took a seat next to him. I wasn't sure what to do with my hands so I just placed them on either side of my thighs. I could feel the heat of Draco's hand next to mine and I found it very hard to focus on the movie. Draco on the other hand looked completely focused. I wasn't entirely surprised since I knew he had never seen a movie before. I kept stealing glances at him to see if he realized that my hand was next to his. I wasn't sure if I should just move over a bit more and take a hold or if I should let him do it, if he even wanted to.

I shifted a bit closer thus brushing my hand against his. I stole a glance and noticed his cheeks coloring slightly and his attention momentarily moved from the movie. I played with a string on my couch with my other hand trying to relax myself. Finally, I sighed and slouched down on my couch and put my feet up on the ottoman in front of me. Draco's feet were up on it as well. I stared at our feet for several seconds. We were both wearing socks, but for some reason it made me wonder what his feet looked like. I wondered if they were elegant like his hands. It brought my attention back to his hand that was very close to mine.

I took a deep breath and gathered up my Gryffindor courage. I lifted my hand ever so slightly and placed it over the top of Draco's hand. I felt him tense next to me and suck in a breath. I waited for a moment wondering if I had gone too far even if it was just to hold his hand. He didn't reciprocate so I pulled my hand back and placed it on my leg, my cheeks flushing.

I tried to focus on the movie, but I couldn't. I was embarrassed surely. I was about ready to pull back into myself when I felt a warm hand over mine, linking our fingers together. My eyes widened and I looked over at Draco who was giving me a small, shy smile. He lifted my hand and brought it to his lips. He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of my hand and then set our joined hands between us. He returned his gaze to the movie and I did as well. I found myself swelling with warmth again and I was finally able to focus mostly on the movie.

After awhile I felt my eyes start to droop. I knew that I had drifted off and snapped my head up a few times. Draco looked over at me and nudged my leg with our joined hands.

"You're falling asleep there," he said quietly.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Like I said, I didn't sleep well last night," I responded as I yawned. The credits were going on the movie and I clicked off summoning another one to put in. "Do you want to watch another one?" I asked gesturing to the TV.

"Yeah, sure. Why didn't you sleep well last night?" he asked me. I could hear the worry in his voice probably thinking that not showing up for dinner had caused me to not sleep very well.

"It had nothing to do with you so don't worry about that," I replied. I directed the movie into the DVD player and pressed play from the controller. I settled back into the couch and yawned again. I reached for Draco's hand again and felt warm again once his fingers wrapped around mine.

"Would you tell me what kept you awake?" he asked again. I looked over at the sincerity in his voice. He released my hand and pushed my shoulder down. I gave him a quizzical look, but allowed him to push me to rest my head on his thigh. I brought my legs up onto the couch and stretched out. I couldn't help feeling the heat radiating from his thigh. He summoned a blanket and placed it over me and rested one hand on my arm and the other was running through my hair. I was instantly relaxed. I closed my eyes.

"It was just a nightmare," I replied. I wasn't avoiding his question. I just felt very relaxed and safe in his presence.

"What was it about?" he asked quietly.

"The war, death, crying, the usual," I replied quietly as I drifted off to sleep. I could vaguely feel his fingers running through my hair and my heart fluttering with each pass he made through it. For the first time in years, I felt completely at ease. All thanks to Draco Malfoy, who would have thought?


	10. The Talking Journals

**A/N: Oh dear guys! I'm sorry that this is coming out late. I am truly, truly busy! Correcting work every night and planning and everything! Anyway, here is the next chapter of this one :) Hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 10: The Talking Journals**

I sat back into the couch while Harry slept. The morning had turned out a lot stranger than I had thought it would. I didn't expect to kiss Harry today nor find out that we had the same feelings for each other. I also didn't expect him to throw up after kissing me. That was probably the strangest part of the day.

I glanced down at the soundly sleeping man and smiled. I hadn't felt so awkward and nervous in my life then I did with him. I couldn't fight the feeling that passed over me when I took his hand in my own. It felt absolutely perfect. The tingle that went up my arm at the touch was just amazing. I sighed and laid my head back against the couch and closed my eyes. I let the movie and Harry's even breathing lull me into relaxation and finally sleep.

**XXXX**

I woke several hours later to see the blue screen on the tele and to feel the weight of Harry's head against my leg still. He was still soundly asleep and I smiled down at him. I glanced up at the clock and noted that it was nearly five in the afternoon. We had been asleep for a few hours which surprised me. I rubbed my eyes with my free hand and glanced around Harry's flat. I debated about putting in another movie when I saw a familiar owl sitting on the window ledge. I opened the window from my seat and the owl flew in perching on the arm rest of the couch. It was my secretary's owl which could only mean one thing; I was going into work today.

Sure enough as I unrolled the parchment and read the note, I felt completely tense and angry instead of relaxed. This was my day off and I was spending it with Harry and I didn't want to go into the office. Who knew how long I'd be there and who knew when the next time it'd be that I'd get a chance to spend this time with Harry once again. I sighed and maneuvered myself carefully from underneath Harry's head. I knew he hadn't slept well and I didn't want to wake him up, plus he looked so beautiful and content and I just couldn't ruin that.

I went into his room and quickly changed back into my clothes. When I walked back out I quickly penned a note to him explaining why I wasn't there when he woke up. I wanted to make sure he saw it so he wouldn't freak out so I placed it in his hand with a sticking charm. I bent down and kissed his forehead, inhaling his scent. It was the most wonderful smell I'd ever encountered. I really didn't want to leave. I sighed and pulled away before I could get wrapped up in just lying down next to him and pulling him close. I made sure that the note was securely stuck to his hand before I left.

I walked out of his flat and to the elevator feeling even angrier now that I had left. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay there, but again I knew I couldn't and sitting here bitching about it in my head wasn't going to help matters except make me angrier. I stepped out into the cool evening air. It felt extra cool for summer and I wondered if I had missed a few months because it sure felt like fall.

I quickly apparated into work as soon as I was outside the wards around the apartment complex. As soon as I stepped into the office my secretary was at my side looking extremely apologetic.

"Mr. Malfoy, I know that today is your day off and I'm sure you were spending it in a wonderful way, but I had to get you here," she explained nervously.

"What's the problem, Marie?" I asked. I didn't hide the anger in my tone even though I knew it wasn't her fault that I was pulled away from Harry.

"We received word that a large Muggle born orphanage was abusing their power with the kids. Aurors have pulled them out, but now we have several kids who have no place to go," Marie explained.

I sighed. These problems didn't happen often, but when they did, it was the worst time for us. We had to scramble to find places for them. I knew three of our respected orphanages had room since we had adopted out several children, but I wasn't sure that there would be enough room.

"Have you talked to our three main orphanages?" I asked.

"Of course and they've agreed to take in a lot of them, but Mr. Malfoy, there were thirty children in that orphanage and we were only able to place 15 of them. We've got to figure out where to place the other 15. That's why I called you here," Marie explained again.

I walked down to my office as I thought of my mental list of foster families that we had that we could place the kids through. Sometimes I found myself wondering why I did what I did, but then when I saw Muggle born witches and wizards placed in loving Wizarding families, I was reminded why I did this.

I rounded my desk and sat heavily in my chair pulling the case file towards myself. I scanned the list of names and figured out how I could place all the kids, but it would take hours to get them all settled.

"Alright, Marie, you take this half and start fire calling these families letting them know that we have some more children for them to take in. I will deal with this half," I ordered.

She nodded quickly and took her list, leaving the room. I started flooing each person on my list and had only made it a quarter of the way through when there was a knock on my door. I turned and saw Harry standing in the doorway. He was wearing the same jumper as before only he had spelled it unwrinkled and he was wearing a pair of dark wash jeans that fit him perfectly.

"Thought you could use some help," Harry offered. He gave me a lopsided grin that sent my heart soaring and a smile bursting on my face.

"Thank you so much. I'm sorry I had to leave," I told him. I stood and walked over to him and he continued to smile up at me. He waved my apology off and reached up and pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek.

"I understand. No worries. I should be apologizing for falling asleep on you. I don't blame you for leaving," Harry half joked. I raised an eyebrow at him and pulled him into a hug, kissing his forehead.

"Believe me, I definitely did not want to leave whether you were sleeping or not. I think it took me a good half hour before I could make myself leave," I pointed out. He blushed and looked up at me with wide, green eyes. Merlin, I love this man! Wait, what? Bit strong, definitely a bit strong. Then I looked into the depths of those green eyes and I knew I was definitely falling in love with the insecure and beautiful and charming Gryffindor.

"Well, good, I'm glad it was hard for you to leave," he said as he winked and walked past me. I inwardly groaned at the way he was acting. It was like the most awkward and fascinating foreplay ever. "What can I do to help?"

I shook myself out of my musings of foreplay with Harry. He was definitely not ready for that and I was definitely not going to push it. "Um, help me finish calling these people and then help me get the kids to where they need to be, if that's okay?"

He grinned and nodded. He picked up the paper of my list of names and scanned them. "A lot of these people come into the bookstore. They are all wonderful people. Do you have another floo I can use?" Harry asked.

I smiled gratefully at him. "Yes, you can use the one right through this door," I said gesturing to the small conference room that attached to my office. Harry nodded and ripped off part of the list and went into the conference room. About twenty minutes later he returned with a triumphant smile. I was sitting back in my chair glaring down at the fireplace.

"Is there a problem?" Harry asked in concern as he stood behind my desk. I turned and looked up at him in surprise.

"You're already done?" I asked.

"Of course. I just told them that you had some kids that needed to be placed tonight and if we could bring them by. They agreed rather quickly and happily I might add," Harry told me with a grin.

"You are amazing, you know that," I complimented. He blushed and smiled shyly at me before shrugging.

"Well, I think it may have helped slightly that it was me. I bet they're used to seeing you all the time," Harry commented.

"Oh, probably, but whatever, at least they're being placed into good homes for now. Let's go get them. I'm sure Marie is done by now as well," I added. He nodded and smiled at me again as we walked out of my office. Our hands brushed as we walked side by side and without thinking I reached over and grabbed his hand, entwining our fingers. I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye and I blushed. I couldn't believe how ridiculously awkward we were with each other like this, but it was so wonderful at the same time.

**XXXX**

Harry and I had finally returned back to our flats well after midnight. We were both exhausted and ready to just crash. I hesitated at his floor when the doors opened and chose to follow him, to walk him to his door. He turned to look at me in surprise, but he also looked flattered.

"Are you walking me to my door, Draco?" he asked in a girly, sweet voice as he batted his eye lashes. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, but I couldn't help, but laugh.

"Why, of course, Harriett, I couldn't imagine just letting a helpless girl walk to her door all alone," I replied in a deeper voice than usual. Harry glared at me and I started to laugh. He punched me in the shoulder, but immediately rubbed it better.

"I will not be the girl of this relationship, thank you very much," he responded. He froze and looked up at me in embarrassment. "I mean, that's not to say, that you know, we're, um, in a-" he stuttered. I placed a finger against his lips and shook my head giving him a warm smile.

"Shh, let's not think about that yet. Let's just see where things go from here. No labeling, yet," I told him. He looked at me for a moment and I thought I had said something wrong, but then he nodded and looked away and I picked up instantly the change in his demeanor. I sighed. I had said something wrong.

"Of course, well good night, Draco, and thank you for everything today. I haven't felt this good in ages," he said. He smiled up at me and kissed my cheek. It wasn't as warm as our interactions had been earlier in the day and I felt this tug on my heart that I had caused this. I wanted to punch a wall, I was so mad at myself for ruining what steps Harry and I had taken today.

I watched Harry smile at me one more time and then enter his flat closing the door behind him. He didn't slam the door or anything like that, but it felt like he was closing the door on me, on us. I turned quickly and strode back to the elevator and up to my flat. I was about ready to burst by the time I walked into my flat. I conjured up a punching bag and started hitting it with all my might.

I was punching out all my frustrations about myself and what I had said to Harry when I realized that this wasn't my fault. Harry wanted to take things slow and I was just agreeing to his terms. I sagged my shoulders and moped into my bathroom. I was drenched in sweat and in dire need of a shower. I continued to remind myself that I did nothing wrong and that this was what Harry wanted. It wasn't really helping much because I still felt like crap.

I settled into my bed and pulled out my journal deciding to write out my frustrations in there. When I opened to a new page I gasped when I saw words starting to appear on the paper. Whoever my journal was connected to was writing at the same time as I was.

_August 3, 1999_

_I had such a wonderful day today! I spent nearly all of it with the person I am quickly falling in love with._ The writer paused and I waited for more words to appear. Nothing came for a few minutes so I decided to write and see if they responded to me.

_It looks like we have something in common besides our journals being connected. _I wrote to them. I waited imagining what their expression would be when they saw my writing. My eyes widened as I watched words appear on my page that weren't mine.

_Are you falling in love with someone too or just totally freaked out that we are writing our deepest secrets into someone else's journal?_ The other person wrote back.

I chuckled. I liked this person already so that was a good thing. _I'm going to say both. I didn't realize this was possible until I saw your last entry in my journal. _I took a deep breath, fully awake now.

_Well, you must not be too freaked out if you're still talking to me. Tell me about Leone. I'm guessing that's who you're falling in love with? _I blushed at this person's words. I knew I hadn't said I was falling in love with Harry in my journal, but it must have been obvious to this person that I was. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. No sense in trying to deny it, it's not like I'll ever meet this person in real life.

_Leone is everything I could ever possibly imagine. I'm surprised it took me this long to realize it. Actually, I'm not. We weren't exactly friends before now. As a matter of fact we rarely exchanged words only hexes and spells, but Leone is sexy, kind, caring, extremely loyal, understanding, and forgiving. He's such a strong individual even if he doesn't think so all the time. I can't get him out of my head. I never have and I never will. Rather mushy, don't you think? _I wrote back to whoever this person was.

I sat back and closed my eyes thinking about Harry. I wished I could tell him the things I was telling this person. I wanted Harry to know how I truly felt about him, but again I didn't want to push. I started to chastise myself for blaming Harry for earlier. It wasn't anyone's fault. I couldn't hold it against him to want to take things slow and more than likely he wasn't mad at me about what I said, but mad at himself. Yes, that must be it.

I was getting rather annoyed with myself though because I'm never like this. I had changed my mind three times about the situation with Harry in the past hour and a half. I always make one decision and stick with it. Harry is making that very difficult for me, but I couldn't help, but smile.

I opened my eyes again and looked down at my journal. _Not mushy at all. It's rather romantic I think. Leone is lucky to have you in his life. He seems like a wonderful bloke and you seem to truly care about him._ I smiled. "You have no idea," I said aloud.

_I really do. So, tell me about Silver Angel._


	11. Help Comes in Many Forms

**A/N: So it's been exactly 56 days since my last update for this story. I apologize for that. My job has definitely taken over my life that's for sure, but I hope to get a few more updates in the coming week or so. I want to finish _Protecting a Hero_ very soon. I have the ending in mind, I just need to write it. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I am dedicating this to my biggest fan and Drarry support person, Cathcer1984/Kiwi/Harri. She's been in the hospital for almost two weeks and I have been completely lost without her and I hope she comes home soon. I miss her terribly and definitely could use her help with some stuff :). Again, sorry for the late update. I hope I haven't lost too many of you. Enjoy the chapter!**

**Chapter 11: Help Comes in Many Forms**

As soon as I closed my door, leaving Draco on the other side of it, I wanted to scream in frustration. I wasn't mad at him, not one bit. I was mad at myself. Draco was respecting my wishes of taking things slow and all I could do was get mad. What the hell? I knew I was falling deeply in love with him, but I also knew that I was in no shape to be falling in love with someone, let alone Draco. He deserved better than me. When did I become so insecure? I wondered. Had I always been this way? I nodded. I was always insecure when it came to matters of the heart. Everything else I did, I was more than confident to handle it, but love was a whole other thing all together.

I sighed and trudged into my kitchen opening the ice box door. I perused my selection of drinks, mostly juice and milk, but I noticed in the back was a small bottle of chocolate milk with a note attached. I pulled it out and read the note.

_In case you need a pick me up. This is some special chocolate milk that I found just for you. Draco_

I smiled and opened the cap. It smelled absolutely delicious. I pulled a glass from the cabinet and poured some into it. I replaced it back into the ice box after reading the note once again. When I sipped it, I instantly felt better. Something about the smell and taste reminded me of Draco. It really didn't take much of anything to be reminded of Draco. Everywhere I looked I could find something to remind me of him. I was falling deeply in love with him and there was no denying it. I knew he wanted me, but love me? I had no idea if it was even possible.

I walked into my living room and sat down on the couch, staring at the blank screen of my tele. I thought about watching some TV to take my mind off of things, but what I ended up doing was staring at the blank screen and thinking about Draco while I sipped away on my chocolate milk. It really did give me the pick me up that I often got with firewhiskey without all the damning side effects. I think Draco knew that it would be something I'd need from time to time and it was a reasonable compromise.

After what seemed like hours, but it only ended up being less than two, I wandered into my bedroom. My drink was all gone by now and I didn't feel the need for another. I thought I'd spend some time writing in my journal and see if I could get a decent night sleep. Without even thinking about it I knew that another plus to the chocolate milk would be to help me sleep.

I climbed into bed after undressing and pulled the covers up to my chest. I reached for my journal and opened up to a new page. I was half hoping that I might see another journal entry from Hopeful, but there wasn't any. I sighed deciding to write about falling in love with Draco.

_August 3, 1999_

_I had such a wonderful day today! I spent nearly all of it with the person I am quickly falling in love with._ I paused as I read the line over and over again. What more could I add to this? Would Hopeful see it and think I was some sap? I didn't really care, come to think of it. I would shout it from the roof tops if I knew Draco felt the same.

I went to write again when something appeared onto the page. It was my writing, but I hadn't written it. Hopeful was writing at the same time!

_It looks like we have something in common besides our journals being connected. _Hopeful wrote. I stared at it for a moment. I knew he was really talking about falling in love with someone too, but I also wondered if he was a bit weirded out by this like I was. _ Are you falling in love with someone too or just totally freaked out that we are writing our deepest secrets into someone else's journal?_ I wrote back. I smiled.

_I'm going to say both. I didn't realize this was possible until I saw your last entry in my journal. _I laughed aloud at this. I had a feeling that I was going to like this person just fine and that it might be a nice to have some anonymous person to express my thoughts to. _Well, you must not be too freaked out if you're still talking to me. Tell me about Leone. I'm guessing that's who you're falling in love with? _I wanted to use Hopeful as my sounding board so I decided to tackle the fact that he was falling in love with someone just like I was. I hoped Hopeful didn't mind talking about why he was in love with this Leone person. I really did want to know.

_Leone is everything I could ever possibly imagine. I'm surprised it took me this long to realize it. Actually, I'm not. We weren't exactly friends before now. As a matter of fact we rarely exchanged words only hexes and spells, but Leone is sexy, kind, caring, extremely loyal, understanding, and forgiving. He's such a strong individual even if he doesn't think so all the time. I can't get him out of my head. I never have and I never will. Rather mushy, don't you think? _

I smiled at Hopeful's response. He truly sounded like he was madly in love with Leone. I wondered if he had the same type of relationship with Leone as I had with Draco in the past. I couldn't really imagine someone else going from strongly disliking a git like Draco Malfoy used to be to falling madly in love with him like I was now, but I supposed it could happen to anyone.

_Not mushy at all. It's rather romantic I think. Leone is lucky to have you in his life. He seems like a wonderful bloke and you seem to truly care about him._ I wished that Draco would say the same words to me as this person did about Leone. Of course, I can't expect him to tell me these things when I'm not even sure I can form the thoughts myself.

_I really do. So, tell me about Silver Angel._ I stared at his response back to me. Wow, could this person read minds or something? I started to chuckle. Well, I wanted a sounding board and here I have it. Why not practice telling Draco how I feel about him by pretending that Hopeful is Draco?

_Silver Angel. I hope you've got plenty of time for all of this. It's difficult for me to put into words how I feel about him or how I think of him. He's gorgeous of course, no question about that, but there is so much more to him than meets the eye. He's sweet, caring, considerate, forgiving, oh is he forgiving. After all the stuff we went through in our past, I'm surprised that he even wants to look at me these days, but he's still there, still in my head and a part of my life. Except now it's different. Before he was just this insufferable git who I just wanted to go away, not in the sense of him dying or something, but in the sense that I wouldn't have to deal with him day in and day out. But now, I can't seem to want to be away from him. He's building me back up when no one else can and I don't think I can ever repay him for what he's doing for me right now and what I hope he continues to do for me for the rest of our lives whether we're together or not. Now that's mushy. _

I waited for a response as my nerves settled. My eyes were feeling a bit watery and I just shook my head to dispel the tears. Now if only I could say those words to him. I glanced down as I saw words start to appear on my page again. I closed my eyes waiting for the rest of Hopeful's response. I hoped he didn't think I was some kind of sappy girl or something.

_That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It was not mushy at all. Have you told him all of this? Does he know how you feel? If he doesn't, you should tell him. Don't let him slip away._

I had nodded along as I read the words. Hopeful was right, but it wasn't just me who needed to do the telling of how they were feeling about someone.

_I haven't told him yet and I know that you haven't told Leone how you feel yet either. Listen to your own words; tell Leone before it's too late. Don't let him slip away and I won't let Silver Angel slip away either. Deal?_

I felt myself getting tired and wondered if it was the chocolate milk kicking in or Hopeful helping me get my feelings out. I closed my eyes while I waited for Hopeful to respond to me.

**XXXX**

I woke up again to the sunlight streaming through the windows of my bedroom. It seemed brighter than it had been before, but I realized that it was probably because my room wasn't painted as dark as before. I groaned and scratched my chest, bumping my journal. I opened my eyes wide, realizing that I had fallen asleep before seeing the response from Hopeful.

I lifted the journal and grinned. _Deal, _was all he wrote in response. I smiled and closed the journal. I stood and stretched before heading for my shower. I heard knocking on my door and stopped myself wondering if I should just ignore it or get into the shower. I decided that, after continuous knocks, that whoever was on the other side of the door was not going to be leaving anytime soon so I sighed and went to open the door. Draco was standing on the other side of the door looking slightly frazzled and I couldn't help, but want to pull him into my arms and hold him close and try and express all the feelings that I had poured out to Hopeful last night.

Draco stared at me for a moment and I suddenly became rather self conscious. I looked down and realized that I was only in my boxers and hadn't put a shirt on to answer the door. I blushed when my eyes met his. His eyes were blazing mercury and I had a feeling that he didn't quite appreciate me answering the door clad in only barely there boxers.

"Do you _always _answer the door dressed like this?" he demanded gesturing at me with his hand.

I couldn't help, but grin. "I've been known to wear clothes once in awhile to answer the door too, but this is my preferred attire," I teased. I could practically see Draco's blood pressure spike and the anger that was emanating off of him was doing wonders to my ego.

"Well, seeing as you are pretty much taken, I suggest you wear clothes from now on to answer the door," Draco replied. I chuckled and stepped aside to let him into my flat. He stalked in with all the glory that I was sure he had learned from Snape and then he turned his steel gray eyes on me and crossed his arms.

"Aren't you a bit presumptuous to say I'm taken?" I asked him as I closed the door and crossed my arms, trying to mimic the way he looked. It was a bit difficult seeing as it's hard to show power and confidence when you are only dressed in boxers.

His shoulders sagged and all the fire drained from his face as he dropped his arms to his sides. "I suppose you're right. Sorry about that," he replied looking completely dejected.

I stepped towards him and reached up to lift his head to look at me. "You're not the one who should be sorry. It's me who should be sorry and I am. Look, last night, I wasn't mad at you, not at all. You were respecting my wishes and I appreciate that. I just, I am fighting this inner battle with what my body wants and what my mind wants. I can't seem to figure it out," I said to him. I sounded stupid to myself and I'm sure I sounded stupid to him.

He stared at me for a few moments and then he took a slight step forward. My breath caught as I felt the warmth of his body against my own and I suddenly realized how cold I was. "What is it that your mind wants and your body wants?" he asked me in a husky tone that went straight to my groin.

I gulped. "They both want you, but in different ways," I whispered.

Draco reached up and placed his hand against my cheek and ran his thumb along my jaw. "What different ways?" he asked and he stepped just a bit closer to me.

I gulped again and tried to maintain eye contact. "My body wants to ravish you, but my mind knows that it's too soon for that. They both want you, but I think my mind knows what's best for me even if I don't agree with it," I replied.

He smiled and nodded. "Then I suppose we should listen to your mind then. What is it telling you to do now?"

"It's telling me that I really want to kiss you and that there are some other things that I should tell you," I replied with a shaky breath. I don't think it made quite that much sense, but I really wanted to kiss him regardless of the other things I had to tell him. The things that Hopeful and I had agreed on.

Draco smiled and stepped even closer to me. He wrapped one arm around my waist, his thumb lightly brushing against my bare back, while his other hand continued to stay at my cheek. I tentatively licked my lips in anticipation for the kiss I was sure was going to come. Draco didn't hesitate before he leaned down and pressed his gorgeous pink lips on my own trembling ones. The kiss was soft and gentle. Draco didn't want to push my boundaries nor did I think he wanted to risk me throwing up this time. I knew without a doubt that I wasn't going to. I wanted this, Merlin I wanted more than this, but my mind was ruling me right now over the rest of me and I was grateful for that.

I wound my arms around his waist as I pulled him closer to me. I felt him smile against my lips at the new contact. I knew my groin was waiting to jump to attention, but somehow it managed to stay calm and collected and only semi-hard. I guess it didn't want to be traitorous this time around and for that I was also grateful. I deepened the kiss and Draco gladly returned it as the hand that had been at me cheek slid down to my neck and then down my back. It sent wonderful chills through my entire body.

We finally broke apart for some much needed air and Draco was smiling at me. He had this soft look in his eyes that was full of love and care and I hoped that he did love me just as much as I loved him. I smiled up at him shyly. I could already feel the change in our relationship and not even a word had really been said between us.

"Did you enjoy the chocolate milk?" he asked as he licked his lips. I blushed and glanced away. "It's something that I've used from time to time instead of firewhiskey. It takes the edge off, but it doesn't have the affects that alcohol does," Draco explained.

I smiled. "Thank you for thinking of that. It shows that you care about me, well at least what I put in my mouth anyway," I responded. We both stopped and stared at each other and then suddenly we burst out in laughter.

"Um, yes, Harry, I do care a great deal about what you put in that pretty mouth of yours," Draco teased. He winked at me sending a deep blush all over my face and bare chest.

"Well, um, I, uh…." I really had no response to that.

He just chuckled. "Would you go to breakfast with me?"

I looked up at him in surprise. "You want to have breakfast with me?"

He laughed and shook his head. "I just asked you, didn't I?" I nodded. "Then come with me. I have a feeling that we have some things to discuss, some wonderful things," he added.

I smiled and felt a small bit of butterflies flutter around in my stomach. "Okay, let me get ready," I responded. I started to walk away, but I felt Draco's hand wrap around my own and pull me back. He bent down to kiss me once again and suddenly those butterflies stopped fluttering and I felt this warmth all throughout my body. Things had definitely changed.


	12. A Stranger Interferes

**A/N: Hello! Sorry for the delay in getting his up, but as you all know I've been rather busy with work, but hooray! I'm on break right now :) One of the pluses of being a teacher. Anyway, this chapter is a bit different than usual and their is no journal stuff in this one. Also, you'll notice that I use a good chunk from Chapter 11, but this time we'll get to see it from Draco's point of view and I think that's important. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 12: A Stranger Interferes**

I smiled down at Demure's description of Silver Angel. I felt very happy for my new friend that I was writing with and I wished that I had the courage to tell Harry how I feel in the way that I just told Demure and he just told me about his love. I couldn't think of anything more that I wanted to do then to tell Harry that I was falling madly in love with him. I wasn't afraid to admit it to myself, but to Harry? I wasn't so sure about that.

I sighed as I replied to Demure's suggestion of telling our loves how we felt. _Deal. _Now the question was, would he pull through and would I pull through? I closed the journal and clicked off my bedside lamp before falling into a nice sleep, my dreams swimming with images of Harry in all sorts of wonderful ways.

**XXXX**

I barely managed to make it to eight before I was bursting to get down to Harry and tell him how I really felt, but when he opened the door in nothing, but his boxers, I was caught off guard and momentarily speechless because he looked so fucking hot and I just wanted to back him up into his room and ravish him senseless, but then anger set in. I was wondering if he always answered his door like this.

"Do you _always _answer the door dressed like this?" I demanded as I gestured to his attire and looked him over.

I could tell that my question made him feel good and I momentarily forgot what made me mad in the first place, but then he grinned and responded and I remembered exactly what had annoyed me. "I've been known to wear clothes once in awhile to answer the door too, but this is my preferred attire," he teased me. I felt my pulse rate quicken and was very aware of the possibility that the vein in my forehead was about to pop out in my anger.

"Well, seeing as you are pretty much taken, I suggest you wear clothes from now on to answer the door," I responded as I walked past him trying my best to strut in to make my point clear that I wasn't happy.

"Aren't you a bit presumptuous to say I'm taken?" Harry asked me. He mimicked my movements which nearly made me laugh, but then his words settled in my mind and I knew that he was right even if he was teasing me.

I looked at him for a moment before I sagged my shoulders in defeat. "I suppose you're right. Sorry about that," I told him and I meant it. I didn't want Harry to be uncomfortable when I so badly wanted to tell him how I felt.

He stepped towards me and I was a bit leery at first when he reached up to touch my face. Not because I didn't want him to, but because I wasn't sure if I could handle him touching me, looking as delectable as he did at that very moment. "You're not the one who should be sorry. It's me who should be sorry and I am. Look, last night, I wasn't mad at you, not at all. You were respecting my wishes and I appreciate that. I just, I am fighting this inner battle with what my body wants and what my mind wants. I can't seem to figure it out," he said. I wanted to smack him upside the head because he had no need to apologize. I overstepped my boundaries last night and well, I couldn't really think of much else to respond to that aside from wondering what his body and mind wanted, hoping that it was me.

I stepped towards him feeling bold and was within inches of him. I watched as he gulped at the closeness and seemed to shiver. I wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from me being so close. "What is it that your mind wants and your body wants?" I asked in a tone that suggested I meant more behind my words then what just came out of my mouth.

He gulped. "They both want the same thing, but in different ways," he whispered.

Feeling my boldness increase I reached up and placed my hand against his cheek and ran my thumb along his jaw. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment and he briefly turned into my touch. "What different ways?" I asked in my bedroom voice that I had never used, but guessed that was what it was seeing as it was dripping with lust for Harry as I stepped just a bit closer to him.

He gulped again and I had to fight the urge to chuckle. His eyes opened again and he seemed to be struggling with keeping eye contact with me. "My body wants to ravish you, but my mind knows that it's too soon for that. They both want you, but I think my mind knows what's best for me even if I don't agree with it," he replied in a shaky voice.

I smiled and nodded with his explanation because that was exactly how I was feeling about him. "Then I suppose we should listen to your mind then. What is it telling you to do now?"

"It's telling me that I really want to kiss you and that there are some other things that I should tell you," Harry replied with the same shaky tone as before.

I smiled and stepped even closer to him. I wrapped one arm around his waist while my thumb gently caressed his bare back, and my other hand continued to stay at his cheek. I watched as he licked his lips in anticipation and I couldn't help, but yearn to kiss him now and forever.

I didn't hesitate much before I leaned down and pressed my lips to his perfect, pouty lips that were trembling ever so slightly. The kiss was soft and gentle. I didn't want to push his boundaries. I couldn't believe how wonderful his lips felt against mine. I silently prayed that he wouldn't throw up on me, but as the kiss deepened I knew he wouldn't.

He wound his arms around my waist and he pulled me closer to him. I smiled at the contact and knew that I was definitely in love with him. There was just no other explanation to the feelings that were coursing through my body as he pressed against me. I slid my hand down from his cheek to his neck and down his bare back and relished when I felt his body shake under my touch. I couldn't imagine anything better than this and I deepened the kiss even more.

When we finally broke apart for air something seemed different between us, in a good way. It seemed that we had made it over a rather large obstacle in our blooming relationship. I mean, Harry actually let me kiss him and hold him close without freaking out. That had to mean something, right?

I noticed as I licked my lips that he had drunk some of the chocolate milk I had left for him. It made me smile to think that I had given him something to help him ease his lingering pain that didn't have the damning effects of alcohol and he actually drank it. "Did you enjoy the chocolate milk?" I asked with a smirk. He blushed and glanced away and I continued on in explanation of why I gave it to him. "It's something that I've used from time to time instead of firewhiskey. It takes the edge off, but it doesn't have the affects that alcohol does."

He smiled up at me before responding. "Thank you for thinking of that. It shows that you care about me, well at least what I put in my mouth anyway."

As I processed what he said and saw the surprised look on his face I knew that he had said something that his filters hadn't exactly prevented from coming out. I started to laugh because it was rather funny and he was right, I did care what he put in his mouth especially if it was me. I nearly blushed at the image that came to mind with that thought.

"Um, yes, Harry, I do care a great deal about what you put in that pretty mouth of yours," I teased him and for good measure I winked at him which of course gave me the response I was looking for, that cute blush that always seemed to be present on his face and body whenever I was around.

"Well, um, I, uh…." he stuttered. It was so unbelievably adorable that I decided to spare him more embarrassment and tell him the reason I came by in the first place, well one of the reasons anyway.

"Would you go to breakfast with me?" I asked him hopefully.

He looked at me in surprise before responding in a quiet voice. "You want to have breakfast with me?"

I laughed at his shyness and shook my head. "I just asked you, didn't I?" He nodded at me. "Then come with me. I have a feeling that we have some things to discuss, some wonderful things," I added hoping that he wouldn't shy away from talking about us.

"Okay, let me get ready," he responded before he turned to walk away. I reached out and grabbed his hand pulling him back to me. I needed those lips back on me one more time before he went into his room. I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't follow him otherwise.

When I pulled him back to me I looked down into those innocent emerald eyes and nearly got lost in them before I kissed him deeply one more time. He grinned and sauntered away driving me nearly nuts with his body.

**XXXX**

After Harry got ready we left his flat and headed down the street to a nearby café that we both frequented. We walked down the block side by side awkwardly. I wanted to reach over and grab his hand, but for some reason I felt extremely nervous. We had held hands a lot the day before so why was it so hard to do it now? I knew Harry wanted to because he kept stealing glances at me and it made me all the more embarrassed that I couldn't just reach over and grab his hand.

When we arrived at the restaurant I opened the door for Harry and he smiled brilliantly at me which made my heart flutter. I placed a hand on the small of his back as I followed in behind him and it seemed that in just that simple touch he relaxed even more and turned into me ever so slightly.

The place was busy which wasn't surprising because they had fantastic food and drinks and I was pretty sure that between Harry and I, we had had just about everything on the menu. I scanned the restaurant for an open booth and found one in the back corner. As we walked over to it, Harry leading the way, I had a vague feeling that someone was staring at me. I looked around the restaurant and saw someone that I wasn't quite expecting to see and not wanting to see, especially having Harry with me.

"Draco? Is that you? Long time, no see!" the person said as they stood and made their way over to us. I felt Harry stop and look at the person and I could feel him tense next to me. That was definitely not what I wanted.

I turned to look at the man I hadn't seen for several months. "Andrew, hey. It has been awhile," I said uncomfortably. To make matters worse he walked right up to me and gave me a hug and then had the nerve to peck me on the lips. I didn't have to look at Harry to know that he was fuming next to me.

I pushed against Andrew's chest and he backed off seemingly unaffected by my push. "You look as smashing as ever! You must be taking good care of yourself," Andrew replied with a wink. I wanted to groan out loud in embarrassment and frustration.

"Um, thank you. You look great too," I responded half heartedly. I chanced a glance at Harry and saw an indifferent mask on his face, but his eyes told me something else and I knew that he was upset.

Andrew looked away from me finally and then his eyes settled on Harry and the hand that was resting on his back where I had left it. He lifted in eyebrow in curiosity. "Well, if this isn't a surprise?" he commented looking between us again. I felt Harry shift next to me and I wondered if he was getting his wand ready to hex the man.

"What do you mean?" I asked trying to keep my voice from sounding nervous like I was feeling.

"It's just a surprise to see that you are with Harry Potter. Are you guys together?" Andrew asked curiously. I didn't like the gleam in his eye. It was too calculating in my opinion.

I glanced over at Harry wondering what response I should give. Should I say that were together and upset Harry or say that we aren't together and still upset Harry? I was damned either way. He didn't look at me so it didn't help in my decision making process.

"That's none of your business, at least I don't think it should be," Harry answered for me. I ran my hand gratefully against his back.

"Well, no, I mean Draco and I have been over for awhile, but I do still care about him and hope that he's happy with the choices that he's made. It's for damn sure I was never enough for him, probably because he's wanted you for a really long time," Andrew replied.

"I'm perfectly happy with the choices that I've made, Andrew. Thank you for your concern," I replied cordially.

He looked between us again and continued to have that calculating look in his eye. Then he smirked and looked back over at Harry. "Well, congrats for snagging him. I've got a tip for you though, Draco likes it hard, fast, and rough in bed so be sure you can handle that. Nice to see you again, Draco," Andrew said as he stretched his hand out to Harry.

I stared at him in complete shock. I could not believe he had just said that to Harry and from the tenseness in Harry's back he couldn't believe it either. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Harry flicked his wand up and into Andrew's face. Andrew looked a bit surprised and I could hear people around us looking at us in confusion. We were in Muggle London after all. They were probably wondering what a measly stick could do to someone. Boy, did they have no idea.

"I suggest you don't go around saying shit like that about people, especially Draco. Show some respect you git," Harry threatened.

Andrew put his hands up in surrender and tried to look innocent. "Hey, I was just trying to be friendly, mate. No need to get all feisty," he commented.

"Andrew, you better leave before you make things worse," I encouraged him. I knew Harry was fuming and I wasn't sure if I was going to be completely safe from his anger.

"Alright, alright. See ya," Andrew said with a wink as he scurried out of the café, Harry leaping at him. I reached out to prevent him from going after him and he glanced over at me angrily.

"Suddenly I'm not feeling so hungry," Harry muttered darkly. He turned and stalked towards the door, me very close on his heels.

"Harry, wait. Please don't go," I begged. Yes, I know, Malfoy's don't beg, but I was desperate. He needed to understand.

I caught up to him outside and got him to stop and look at me. He stared up at me with his arms crossed and hurt written all over his face. "What?" he demanded.

"Please, just let me explain," I begged again. If the look on his face told me anything it was that I had a lot of making up to do and I better do it fast.


	13. Scorned Lover

**A/N: This chapter has just been itching to get out. Finally, finally, we'll hear Draco's explanation and few other nice things will occur ;) I'm sure you'll all just love me in the end. Also it's a bit fluffy in parts, but I think you'll enjoy it. We also get some hints too. I enjoy this chapter ;)**

**Chapter 13: Scorned Lover**

As I studied the man that was making googley eyes at my, well what was Draco to me? Was he my boyfriend? Were we just really good friends? This Andrew person had asked if we were together and Draco hadn't responded, not that I really gave him a chance to. It's hard to put a label on something when you weren't sure if the feelings were entirely mutual. I assumed they were, but I had done that before and ended up broken hearted so I was trying very hard not to do that this time.

I was about to give this Andrew guy a chance to show me that he wasn't as big of an idiot as I figured he was, but then he decided to inform me of how Draco liked it in bed. Something in me snapped and I wanted to pummel the guy for saying something so disgusting about Draco. Of course, Draco wanted to prevent that not that I can blame him since we were in a muggle café, but still, this guy deserved a good ass whooping.

He left though and I felt that sick feeling in my stomach as a flicker of an image involving Draco and Andrew in bed crossed my mind and I suddenly felt the need to get out of there. How could Draco have left something like this out? How could he have not told me that he wasn't a virgin in the sense of being with a man? Okay, so we never talked about it, but still you'd think that it would be something he would tell me. I was still a virgin in all ways that counted including never being with a woman. I couldn't believe this! Not only was I inexperienced in that department, but Draco was apparently a god when it came to sex. It made me feel even worse about the whole situation. I heard Draco coming after me and I really wanted to just run up to my apartment and shut him out, but I didn't. I stopped. I must be a glutton for punishment.

"What?" I asked heatedly as I glared up at him.

"Please, just let me explain," he begged. I wanted to laugh because Malfoy's do not beg and it was funny to hear him doing it, but I reminded myself that I was angry.

"Fine, explain," I replied angrily.

"Right here? Can't we go inside or something?" he asked me.

I thought about it for a moment. "No, right here is just fine. That way if I don't like what I hear I can go straight to my flat and lock you out instead of being stuck inside it with you," I told him. I know I was being childish, but I was mad and I was hurt.

He stared at me for a moment and looked around. "Well, then can we at least sit on the bench over there so we aren't right in front of the door?" he asked.

I glanced over at the bench. I shrugged my shoulders as I walked over and took a seat. I tried to look casual so that he wouldn't be able to see how nervous I really was to hear what he had to say. "Get on with it," I said a bit shakily. I cursed myself for revealing a bit of emotion.

Draco sighed and turned to face a store across the street. He wasn't looking at me which didn't seem like a very good sign. I felt my stomach clenching as I waited impatiently for him to start talking. I had to sit on my hands because they were shaking with my nerves.

"That man back there is Andrew," he began.

"I gathered that," I responded icily.

He glanced over at me and narrowed his gaze. "Are you going to let me talk or keep interrupting me?"

I cowered slightly from the annoyance in his voice and gestured for him to continue. He rolled his eyes before moving on. "When I first realized that I was gay, truly gay, Andrew was the first and only person I was able to turn to. He works at one of the muggle orphanages that we deal with and for some reason one day I came out to him and we sort of got together afterwards. I wanted to make sure that I really was before I committed to someone that I truly wanted and Andrew was a good test subject. We dated for a few months and he was my first experience with a man. I realized after some time that I liked being with a man and then I realized that Andrew wasn't that man for me though. You see, after I moved here with all of you, we started to drift apart because I got-sidetracked-" he stopped for a moment as if he was gathering his thoughts. I was listening intently as the anger slowly left me or froze for a moment because I wasn't sure of the extent of their relationship.

"What got you sidetracked?" I asked quietly.

Draco chuckled. "You, of course. I started watching you more and more. At first it was to prove to you that I wasn't the prat that I had been in school and that I had changed and that I was a better person, but then it changed. I started to notice you becoming more and more withdrawn from your friends and I felt something for you. In the beginning I figured it was just pity, but then I began to realize that it was more than that. I expressed my thoughts to Andrew and he of course got angry and we fought. He knew I had been watching you more and more and he also knew that my feelings for you were changing and he was very, very angry. Long story short, we broke up and I hadn't been with anyone since," Draco finished.

I sat back completely floored by Draco's explanation. I truly never noticed how much he had been watching me and I found myself feeling all fluttery inside. Draco had been harboring feelings for me longer than I imagined, but he still hadn't really addressed the original issue that pissed me off. "How many times did you sleep together?" I asked him in a small voice.

He whipped his head to look at me in dismay. "I never slept with him," Draco replied in disgust.

"But he said, that you and I quote, 'likes it hard, fast, and rough in bed'. Why would he say something like that if you hadn't slept together?" I demanded.

Draco rubbed his face roughly with his hand and looked away again. "He's still angry at me for falling for you and breaking up with him. Of course he was going to say something like that to cause a fight between us," Draco explained.

"Oh," I muttered. I hadn't really thought about that. My mind obviously jumped to conclusions about things as per usual. I stared across the way at the store and sighed. I had made a right mess of things as I always do.

"Harry, the farthest I have ever been with another man is a blow job. That's it. I have never had sex with a man or a woman," Draco said quietly. He still wasn't looking at me and I wasn't looking at him. This conversation had suddenly turned rather awkward.

"Well, that is by far more than me," I muttered angrily. I wasn't mad at him. It wasn't his fault that the only thing I'd ever done with another person was kiss and it wasn't even a good dose of snogging, just a dumb, stupid kiss aside from the wonderful ones that I had experienced with Draco. All other kisses before hand were dumb and stupid.

"Harry, it doesn't matter to me how much experience you have. I've never gone any further with anyone because I didn't want to, until now," he whispered. I felt my face heating at his words and when I looked up at him his gray eyes had changed to silver and he was looking at me with a heated gaze and his face had gone just a shade darker with his blush.

"But, I-" I stuttered not really sure what I wanted to say in the first place. Draco placed a finger to my lips and shook his head.

"No, just listen. If I don't get this out now, I won't have the courage later. Harry, I, I really, really, really like you. You are sexy, kind, caring, extremely loyal, understanding, and forgiving. You are the strongest person I know and I can't stop thinking about you. Every time we kiss, I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. I have wanted you for so long and I know I'll never stop. I want to be with you. I want to be that person you can always rely on. I want to be your boyfriend, Harry, if you'll have me that is," Draco explained passionately.

I stared at him for a moment, thinking about a list of adjectives that sounded startlingly familiar: sexy, kind, caring, extremely loyal, understanding, and forgiving. I couldn't place where I had heard those exact words, but then I realized that I didn't care. Draco had just confessed his feelings to me and I couldn't be anymore happier than I was right in that very moment.

"I, uh…wow, um…. I really, really, really, like you too. More than you could possibly understand I'm sure. You are so unbelievably gorgeous, but you are also sweet, caring, considerate, and very forgiving. I mean we were awful to each other in school. I thought you were an insufferable git and you thought of me as the biggest prat in the world, but here we are. You're building me back up, Draco, and I can't possibly think of anyone else I'd rather be with than you. I spent so many years wishing you weren't always there, but now I can't seem to want to be away from you. I want to be with you more than anything. I want to be your boyfriend and anything else that comes our way," I explained to him knowing that I sounded like a mushy girl right then.

The look on Draco's face was a bit surprising. He looked as if he had just realized something or remembered something and I wanted to ask him what it was, but then his expression changed to looking relieved and happy. I smiled at him. We had finally told each other our true feelings as Hopeful and I had talked about. A part of me couldn't wait to tell Hopeful that I had held up my part of the deal.

"So we're together then?" Draco asked me.

"Definitely, if you want crazy, old me," I teased.

He grinned at me and reached up to cup my face. Gods, I loved when he did that. He looked into my eyes as if searching for something and then he grinned. He leaned forward and tentatively pressed his lips to mine. I savored the taste of him and knew I could never get enough of him. I turned my body into the kiss and without realizing what I had done I was straddling him on the bench. His hands had slipped up underneath my shirt and they felt cool against my back. I ground my hips into him and fought back the urge to groan at the contact.

He moved away from my lips and I let out a whine of protest until his lips pressed against my neck. I felt myself shudder against him and him shift below me sending his growing erection into my own aching one. I whimpered against his ear and I heard him chuckle against my neck before he continued kissing it. I felt him swipe his tongue up to my ear and I shuddered again. I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to contain myself. I ground against him again and this time it was his turn to moan. I leaned back slightly and looked at him. His eyes were clouded over as I imagined mine were as well.

He smiled at me and I smiled back. He was absolutely perfect. I was suddenly overcome with emotion so I crashed my lips to his again and he let out a surprise squeak as he wrapped his arms tighter around me. We were flush against one another and I had the urge to feel his skin beneath my fingertips so I brought them from around his neck and moved my hands to under his shirt. His skin felt so smooth and warm against my hands that I couldn't help, but groan at the need for more contact then just the small amount. I needed to feel his bare chest against my own. I needed to feel his whole, naked body against me.

I had a feeling that he was feeling the same because he was gripping my sides and delving his tongue deeper into my mouth and I met his exploration equally and with my own. I was about ready to rip his shirt off when somebody cleared their throat behind us. My hands had moved to the front of his shirt before the person cleared their throat behind us and I was about to unbutton his shirt. We broke apart and looked at each other. We both looked down as well and noticed that his hands had moved to unbutton my shirt as well. It was obvious what had been on our minds.

He peeked over my shoulder and blushed. He gave me a sheepish look and as I turned to look over my shoulder to see who had cleared their throat I felt the sheepish look being transferred to my own face. "Hello, Mione," I greeted. Her hands were on her hips and she was glaring at us both. I tried to maintain my composure, but I couldn't fight the goofy grin from appearing.

"I didn't realize that PDA was your thing, Harry," Hermione commented as she looked past him at Draco's innocent face.

"Well, I, uh, we got caught up in the moment?" I questioned sweetly. I saw her lips twitching into a smile, but she wouldn't give in to me.

"Obviously. Might I suggest you continue inside?" she commented lifting an eyebrow.

I turned back to look at Draco and a look passed between us that signaled that we were definitely not done. We grinned at each other and then I glanced back at Hermione.

"I think you're right, Mione," I told her before I turned back around and pressed my lips against Draco's again. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and within seconds we were landing on my bed without breaking stride.

"Much better," Draco whispered against my lips. His fingers returned to my shirt and he slowly began unbuttoning it taking care to drag it out as much as possible.


	14. A Coincidence?

**A/N: Hooray! Another chapter for this story! Now I hate to say this, but my Christmas break is over and I'm going to be back at work again. I hope that I can stay on top of things though and continue getting updates out, but if it's a while inbetween you know why. This chapter has a bit of lemon and lots of fluff. There are some parts from last chapter, but I didn't think you guys would mind the repeat ;) Enjoy!**

**Also, I've got a new story called _Withdrawn_ that I've started. It's rather dramatic, but fluffy of course :) Check it out if you haven't already!  
**

**Chapter 14: A Coincidence?**

I was grateful that Harry stopped to listen to me explain or at least give me a chance. He didn't look happy and I couldn't say I didn't blame him. Andrew had always been a jealous man. He didn't want to share me with anyone including my friends from school. One of the many reasons we drifted away over that time frame because Andrew wouldn't allow me to be available. I was surprised that he even allowed me to move into the same building as Harry and his friends, but he probably figured that since we hadn't been friends in school that there was no reason to keep me from moving in there. That was the best decision I had ever made moving in there, for many more reasons then getting away from Andrew.

I was embarrassed to admit to Harry that I wasn't as skilled in the sexual department. I figured that wouldn't have been addressed for awhile because we were going to take things slow, but then Andrew had to open his big fat mouth and I had no choice, but to clarify.

Harry seems to have forgiven me now that I've explained my relationship with Andrew. However, he seemed rather bitter at the fact that I was more experienced than him. Like it mattered! No matter who you are with, the experiences are going to be different. My experience with Andrew was for merely testing purposes, where as with Harry it would be true and real. He had to understand that.

"Harry, it doesn't matter to me how much experience you have. I've never gone any further with anyone because I didn't want to, until now," I whispered to him. It didn't quite explain how experiences were different, but it still got my point across. I had been single for several months before really falling for Harry and the reason for my being single was clear. I was waiting for Harry. I didn't want to give myself to anyone else, but Harry. An adorable blush appeared on his face that I just wanted to kiss away, but right now I had to explain myself more. He had to know, just as Demure and I had agreed on.

"But I-" he interrupted.

"No, just listen. If I don't get this out now, I won't have the courage later. Harry, I, I really, really, really like you. You are sexy, kind, caring, extremely loyal, understanding, and forgiving. You are the strongest person I know and I can't stop thinking about you. Every time we kiss, I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. I have wanted you for so long and I know I'll never stop. I want to be with you. I want to be that person you can always rely on. I want to be your boyfriend, Harry, if you'll have me that is," I explained to him practically repeating the same words that I had written to Demure.

He stared at me for a moment and I saw something in his eyes that didn't seem to be an emotion that should be seen in a situation like this. It looked like he was trying to remember something. It made no sense to me. I had never told a soul aside from Demure about my feelings for Harry so why would he look as if he had heard it before.

"I, uh…wow, um…. I really, really, really, like you too. More than you could possibly understand I'm sure. You are so unbelievably gorgeous, but you are also sweet, caring, considerate, and very forgiving. I mean we were awful to each other in school. I thought you were an insufferable git and you thought of me as the biggest prat in the world, but here we are. You're building me back up, Draco, and I can't possibly think of anyone else I'd rather be with than you. I spent so many years wishing you weren't always there, but now I can't seem to want to be away from you. I want to be with you more than anything. I want to be your boyfriend and anything else that comes our way," he finally spoke. I processed his words and wondered where I had heard them before. This was too strange. It seemed like déjà vu or something even though Harry and I had never discussed our feelings for one another.

I brushed it away though because Harry had just told me how he felt about me and nothing else mattered then. I could literally jump onto this bench and announce to the whole world that Harry was finally mine to love and be with. Yes, I said love because deep down, I knew that I loved him.

"So we're together then?" I asked him. I grinned at him waiting for his response, for him to actually say that we were together.

"Definitely, if you want crazy, old me," he teased. Of course I want you, I wanted to exclaim, but instead I showed him physically just how much I wanted him.

I smiled at him and brought my hands up to cup his face in my hands. I watched as his eyes fluttered slightly and when they opened again I found myself searching his eyes for any reluctance. I saw none and leaned forward to gently press my lips to his. I couldn't imagine doing anything more enjoyable then kissing him. He surprised me though and showed me that there was plenty more that I could enjoy that went along with kissing. He was straddling me now and my half hard member went from half to full on once he ground his hips in to me. I bit back a moan as I slipped my hands underneath his shirt wanting to touch his warm skin and once we touched it felt like a shock wave went through my fingers and straight to my groin.

I moved away from his lips needing a quick breather to gather my thoughts and fight for control. I didn't want to push, but Gods, it felt so good to feel him against me. I heard him whimper when I broke our kiss, but as soon as I touched his neck with my lips he shuddered in pleasure, at least I hoped it was pleasure and I shifted pushing myself up into him. It was like fire when our groins touched and I just wanted to disappear with him and ravish him senseless, but at the moment my mind was muddled with Harry's essence and the fact that we were out in public, where anyone could see, didn't phase me one bit.

Harry ground into me again and this time I couldn't contain the moan that I'd been suppressing. Merlin, he felt so good. We leaned back slightly and looked at each other and I imagined that my eyes mirrored his and there was no question that we wanted each other badly in this very moment. We grinned at each other and then within the blink of an eye Harry looked determined and he was crushing his lips to mine. I was taken by surprise and let out a very unmanly squeak. I wrapped my arms tighter around him wanting to pull him even closer to me, not that there was much more available room.

I nearly shuddered when I felt his hands move from my neck to up the back of my shirt and felt his cool fingertips against my back. He groaned and I tightened my grasp on his sides before delving my tongue deeper into his mouth. I was about to burst and I was about to rip his clothes off just so I could feel more of him against me. This was not something that should be done on a park bench, but I didn't care. All that mattered to me at the moment was him and wanting to feel every part of him in me, around me, through me.

At some point my hands had gotten a mind of their own and were now trying in vain to unbutton Harry's shirt. I was nearly done with the first button when I heard someone clear their throat behind us. We broke apart quickly and looked down between us. Harry's hands were thinking the same thing apparently as he had been working on unbuttoning my shirt as well.

I wanted to growl at the person who had so rudely interrupted us, but when I looked behind Harry to see who it was I felt my growl disappear and instead wanted to whimper at the woman who was looking at me through narrowed eyes. I looked back up at Harry sheepishly, I'm sure, and he slowly turned around to see his best friend standing there looking rather annoyed.

"Hello, Mione," he said innocently. I grinned behind him when I saw a goofy smile form on his perfect lips.

"I didn't realize that PDA was your thing, Harry," Hermione said as she looked over Harry's shoulder and her narrowed gaze settled on me. I had the grace to blush and look ashamed even though I felt no shame whatsoever for being caught snogging Harry.

"Well, I, uh, we got caught up in the moment?" he questioned her sweetly. I glanced over to see if she would glower further, but I saw the hint of a smile pulling at the corners or her mouth.

"Obviously. Might I suggest you continue inside?" she commented lifting an eyebrow. She had a point, this wasn't something that should be seen by the fine Muggles of London, but then I found that I didn't care. Again, all that mattered to me was being with Harry.

Harry glanced back at me and we exchanged a look that I knew said that we definitely weren't finished. My erection was still aching and if the hard, heavy weight that I felt against me was any sign, Harry was aching too.

"I think you're right, Mione," he told her calmly. He turned back to look at me and we smiled at each other before he pressed his lips against mine again. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and thought of our destination and quickly apparated us away. We landed heavily on his bed without so much as breaking our kiss.

"Much better," I whispered against his lips as I went back to unbuttoning his shirt. I took my time because I knew that I was driving him nuts. He had already unbuttoned my shirt and splayed it open before I was even done with the third button on his shirt.

He growled in annoyance and pushed my hands away before literally ripping his shirt off. I swore I saw the rest of his buttons flying about the room, but once I saw that toned chest of his, I instantly forgot about them and zeroed in on said chest. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down on top of me. I swear that my whole world was turning upside down as soon as his warm chest touched my own. It was all so overwhelming.

He kissed me quickly before moving on to my neck repeating my movements from earlier. I wasn't sure how he did it, but he knew just where to kiss and where to lick in a way that drove me crazy. He moved from my neck and down my chest peppering me with kisses. He flicked his tongue quickly over one nipple before kissing his way to the other repeating the same movement. I groaned both times and arched my back, pushing him against me once more. He gasped and looked up at me. He was flushed and I imagined I was rather flushed too.

I pulled him up to me and pressed my lips to his once more. I quickly reversed our positions and teased him just as he had teased me. The sounds that I was eliciting from him encouraged me even more and I was tempted to remove his aching cock from the confines of his jeans in order to relieve him, but I stopped myself knowing that he just might not be ready for that.

I kissed my way back up to his panting lips and kissed him hard again. We moved against each other, moving faster and faster each time before I felt him tense against me and let out this delicious moan that made me burst against him as well. I looked down into his emerald eyes and felt nearly blinded by how bright they were. Harry was gorgeous when he came and I found that I definitely loved this look best so far.

We lied there on top of one another for several minutes breathing heavily, trying to regain some control over our emotions. Eventually I rolled off and lazily cleaned us up before wrapping my arms around him and pulling him against me. I kissed his shoulder and heard Harry sigh. I wasn't sure if that was a contented sigh or an 'oh shit, what did I just do' sigh.

"Are you alright?" I asked him not sure I wanted to hear his answer.

He nodded. "That was brilliant, Draco," he whispered back to me. I grinned and kissed his shoulder again before he rolled over and faced me. He brought one hand up to my face and ran a finger along my jaw. I leaned into his touch and felt chills course through me. Who knew that a simple move as that could make me feel all mushy inside?

"I hope I didn't push you," I told him uncertainly. Even though he said it was brilliant a small part of me was still really nervous that I had pushed him too far and forced myself on to him.

"Definitely not. If you will recall, _I _straddled _you_, not the other way around," he said cheekily as he winked at me.

I grinned and leaned forward to capture his lips in a sweet kiss. "So I guess you forced yourself upon me then?" I teased.

He shrugged his shoulders and smirked. "Guilty as charged," he responded.

"Mmm, now what should your punishment be, Mister Potter?" I replied in as haughty of a tone as I could muster.

Harry looked to be deep in thought for a moment before he smiled shyly and looked back up at me. "How about staying right here, just like this, for the rest of the day?" he suggested.

I pretended to weigh the pros and cons of his suggestion and nodded. "That is definitely a punishment that I am willing to bestow upon you," I replied. He smiled brilliantly at me and I couldn't help but smile back in the same way. I was falling hard for this man and there was nothing that was going to stop me.

He nuzzled into me as he wrapped his arms around me as well. I sighed as I kissed the top of his head completely content with where we were. I imagined doing this every day with him and swelled with warmth. I looked over the top of his head at his night stand and caught sight of something that I was surprised to see. It was my journal or at least it looked exactly like it.

I looked down at Harry feeling betrayed slightly. How could he have gotten a hold of my journal? He's never been to my flat and he wouldn't know where I kept it. I studied it from afar and felt the need to smack myself in the head for jumping to conclusions. Harry had a journal and it was likely that it was probably the same one or similar to mine. I scolded myself for doubting Harry's integrity. I assured myself that this wasn't my journal, but his and as I closed my eyes to fall asleep like Harry had already done, I felt something nagging me in the back of my mind, something that seemed too much of a coincidence.


	15. ONLY AN AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Hello everyone! It has come to my attention that I have not updated Secrets and Withdrawn in ages. I do apologize for that and I truly hope you will still keep me on alert. I do not intend to abandon my stories whatsoever. Being a first year teacher has been rather taxing and I've started my Master's program on top of that. But the icing on the cake is that I am finally expecting and that has also played a factor. Anyway, I will get a chapter out for these stories as soon as I possibly can. I have not abandoned them!


	16. Too Wet to Think Straight

**A/N: Well, surprise! I didn't think I'd get this written, but here it is :) It's mostly just lemony goodness because I know where I want to go, but I felt that this was just necessary for the story and for all of you who have waited ever so patiently for me to update. I'm hoping more will be coming because school is almost out, but who knows. I'm going to try and get back on track! Enjoy everyone!**

**Chapter 15: Too Wet to Think Straight**

When I woke up I felt a heavy weight against me and I was surprised for a moment unsure of what or who could possibly be right next to me. I didn't remember falling asleep, but as I lied there unable to open my eyes I recalled with great pleasure just who was lying next to me and what led up to falling asleep in the first place.

I smiled and slowly opened my eyes. I felt warm breath against my cheek and when I turned to look to my left, I saw Draco and Merlin he was beautiful! His cheeks were flushed and his hair askew and I couldn't stand to look away. How could I have missed all of this about him in all these years? Of course I realize that there was a dark cloud between us for many years, but was that an excuse to have wasted all this time when we could have been just like this, always? I sighed and decided to just stop analyzing things. I needed to embrace what we had going and save the analyzing for something else.

I snuggled into Draco's warmth and couldn't help, but grin. I wasn't the least bit ashamed or embarrassed for what we had done. I looked up into his angelic face and couldn't help, but say "I love you, Draco." I saw him stir and I blushed wondering if he had heard me. I bit my lip as I waited for him to open his eyes and tell me that he didn't feel the same, but all he did was snuggle closer to me and smile in his sleep. I sighed and closed my eyes again. I drifted off to sleep with wonderful thoughts drifting through my mind about Draco.

**XXXX**

When I awoke again, I was alone. I frowned at the empty space around me. Did he leave and not say good bye? What the hell? Then I heard the shower running and I realized that he had simply gotten up to take a shower. A devilish thought popped into my head and I suddenly had the urge to shower with him. Would he go for it? I crawled out of bed and wandered over to the bathroom door. I took a deep breath and shrugged out of my jeans and boxers. This is nuts. I couldn't believe I was doing this, but something was just tugging me to do it.

I quietly opened the door and shut it quietly behind me. Draco was humming quietly so I didn't think he had heard me. I reached out and moved the curtain slightly. Draco didn't respond and I wondered if he was always like this. So unobservant. I observed the water cascading down his muscular back and over the curve of his bum and down to his feet. My mouth watered at the sight and my groin twitched along with it.

I swallowed and looked back up slowly. If his backside looked this good, I bet his front looks even better. "Mind if I join you?" I asked quietly. I saw him jump and tense slightly at my voice and I wasn't sure how to take the tenseness of his shoulders. He slowly turned to face me and sure enough, his front was much better. Draco's eyes were wide in wonder as he looked me over from head to toe. I blushed under his gaze, but returned the look appreciatively. His cock had been flaccid before, but now that he was facing me and taking me all in I saw it jump to attention and mine returned the greeting eagerly.

He reached his arm out and pulled me towards him and under the shower head. The water washed over me in a nice heat that did nothing to cool my growing erection and need for Draco. "How could I refuse such a delicious treat?" he questioned teasingly.

I grinned up at him. "I suppose I could be too sweet or you just may not like what you see," I pointed out.

He stepped back and looked aghast at the suggestion. I tried not to laugh. "First of all, I can't get enough of sweet things which means, I can't get enough of you and second of all, I definitely like what I see. Actually, I don't like, I love what I see," he told me. My eyes widened at the implication. Does that mean he loves me or just my body? _Harry, don't analyze_, I scolded myself.

"Well, in that case, what do you do with something that you find so sweet?" I asked innocently. He licked his lips and smirked. He pulled me closer to him and we were now chest to chest, aching erection to aching erection. I groaned at the contact as he shuddered as well. He closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath before opening them again and looking at me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I did the same.

"I've never had something so sweet, but there's a first time for everything," he replied in a husky voice. My eyes fluttered closed as he pressed his lips gently against my own. Something about being underneath the shower with him just set me on fire. I increased the pressure of the kiss, delving my tongue deep into his luscious mouth. His arms wrapped tighter around me and he pushed hard against me and every part of me felt how much he wanted me. I could only hope that he felt how much I wanted him too.

I moved my lips from his and moved to his neck where he let out a little whimper. I had to gain some control over my raging hormones, but as I worked against his neck and he responded by rutting against me I knew that there was no hope for control. I couldn't stop and I didn't want to. Regardless of the fact that I went from being super shy about going too far with him too soon, to having the need to never stop ravishing him. It was a long time coming and many years in the making. Too much time had been wasted and I wasn't about to waste another minute.

I slid my hands down his back and over his tight arse. I gripped it and pushed against him and he let out the most wonderful moan I'd ever heard. "Harry, Harry, you're driving me nuts," he muttered in a low voice that sent shivers down my spine. I took a small step back and looked up into his clouded, silver eyes. He stared back at me and I could see just how much he wanted me.

We stared at one another for several seconds before he let out this animalistic growl and pushed me up against the shower wall. I gasped at the treatment and then felt my lust boil over as he pressed against me and kissed me hard and rough. I felt him lifting me up for better access to any part of my body. His hands were splayed across my bum and he caressed me ever so gently. This was almost too much for me to handle, almost. I tipped my head back against the wall as his lips moved from mine to my collar bone. He nibbled gently on it and I rutted against him. He moved his hands away from my bum and flipped me quickly around. He pressed against my back and I felt his erection at my entrance and I groaned at the possibilities.

"I don't want to hurt you. Tell me to stop if you want and I will," he whispered his breath hot against my neck. He kissed from one shoulder to the other and I felt myself push against him in response. My whole being wanted this.

"I don't even know what were doing," I responded. I mean I knew what we were doing, but neither of us had done it before so I wasn't sure we were even doing it right, but if my body was telling me anything, it was telling me that we were right, very, very, right.

"Neither do I, but I'm willing to figure it out if you are," Draco replied in that husky voice that made me melt. He reached his hand that wasn't braced against the wall to my leaking erection. He gently wrapped his hand around it and I bucked back into him at the touch. It was one thing to feel myself doing it, but a whole other feeling, having the man I loved doing it.

"Oh gods, Draco. I can't think of anything else I'd rather figure out," I said in an almost begging tone. I felt him smile against my shoulder. I felt his hand quicken slightly and I felt like I was going to explode. He pressed his hard cock against my entrance and I held my breath, tensing at what was coming.

"Harry, baby, you need to relax," he said soothingly. I relaxed instantly and felt him slowly pushing past the muscles of my entrance. It hurt, I wasn't going to lie. I groaned in both pain and pleasure which caused Draco to stop immediately. "I'm sorry, I'll stop. I don't want to hurt you," he told me again. I felt him start to pull out and I reached up and gripped his arm painfully.

"Do…not…stop….please," I said through gritted teeth. I wasn't angry; I was just trying to fight off my orgasm as long as I could. I heard him chuckle and then felt him pushing into me more. I bit my lip at the intrusion and then once he was fully sheathed I could feel him shuddering behind me. I immediately became concerned that something was wrong. "Draco, are you alright?" I questioned, ignoring my need to cum all over.

I felt him nod against me. "Definitely alright. You feel so damn good," he groaned as he slowly pulled back slightly and pushed back in. I moaned as he moved back and forth inside me. This was the best feeling in the world. His hand that had been wrapped around my leaking member began moving in time with his thrusts. I wasn't going to last much longer and by the shaky breaths I was hearing from him, I didn't think he would either. I greeted each of his thrusts with my own and within seconds we were moving quickly and about ready to burst at the seams.

I came first and I felt myself clutch around him as the biggest orgasm of my life took over my entire body. I shook with pleasure and I felt Draco tensing and releasing behind me. I leaned against him as he rode out his orgasm. He slipped out of me and we both whimpered at the absence. I slowly turned to face him. His face was very flushed and the water had run cold, but it felt good against our heated skin.

"That was…amazing," I whispered as we kissed each other languidly. I wasn't sure where I found the nerve to even begin this, but I believed that it had been between the fight with Andrew and our confessions and our subsequent snogging session that put everything into perspective. I had nothing to be afraid of anymore and I had nothing to be depressed about. My life before now happened the way it did for a reason. It brought Draco and me together and that's what mattered now. I could take on the world as long as he was by my side.

I looked up into those mercury eyes and smiled. "You didn't feel pressured did you?" I asked him unsure of the look in his eyes.

"Definitely not. That has been needed and waiting to happen for a long time. It puts everything into perspective for me," Draco replied tiredly. He reached over and shut off the shower. I looked at him in confusion because I wasn't sure what he meant by that. What kind of perspective? Good or bad? He handed me a towel and we both dried off in silence. He was looking deep in thought and I was trying hard not to let my nerves take over.

Once we were dry, Draco walked out of the bathroom with me trailing behind him. He climbed into my bed and gestured for me to join him. I slid in next to him, thrilled that we were still naked and going to be so close under the sheets. "What was put into perspective for you?" I asked uncertainly.

"All of this. Us. Why I came to you a couple of days ago after watching you from afar. It all makes sense to me now," he replied cryptically.

"I don't understand," I responded unsurely. He turned to face me and he brushed my unruly hair away from my forehead. He touched my scar and I shuddered at the touch. No one had ever touched it in such a sensual way.

"Harry, we have been in each other's lives for eight years. We had this wall between us for so long. I was jealous of you for so many reasons. You had friends who adored you, a world that adored you, you were successful and smart, you thought you were the best at everything and nothing could get you down, and you were beautiful inside and out, unlike me," I opened my mouth to interrupt, but he placed a finger against my lips and shook his head. "I thought I had realized too late that I was wrong. I've realized the past few days that everything I thought about you was just my jealousy and it wasn't true. Actually, I think I've known for awhile, but since we've been spending all this time together and sharing so much I realized just what an idiot I had been. We've wasted so much time and I just can't imagine wasting anymore," Draco continued.

"So are you saying that you don't think I'm beautiful inside and out?" I questioned teasingly.

He glared at me and swatted my bum. "You are more than that. You are smart and successful, and you do have great friends, so I was right about that, but the other stuff. I was wrong. You were holding so much in and I didn't realize it until I moved here and saw you more often. I'm sorry for that," he replied.

I smiled at him. He couldn't stop amazing me. "You aren't completely to blame here. I thought some not great things about you too and I realized in sixth and seventh year that you weren't this horrible jerk, but I wasn't about to admit that to you. Plus, on the attractive note, I've always found you to be very attractive. Why do you think I made it my life's work to keep tabs on you?" I pointed out with a wink.

He grinned and rolled over on top of me. "I thought it was to make sure I wasn't in cahoots with the dark side?" he questioned as he kissed along my jaw line.

"Well, that was what I pretended on the outside, but on the inside I really just liked to look at you," I responded breathlessly.

"And what did you think?" he whispered as he moved to the other side. I moaned at the contact and gulped.

"I thought you were pretty good looking, but then you proved that it was possible to be even better looking when you got older and lost that Malfoy look," I teased. He responded by nibbling my ear not so gently.

"Well, it's good to know that you find me so much more attractive than before," he replied. He lifted his head and looked down at me.

"Well, I've seen all of you now and boy was I missing a lot," I smiled up at him and he smiled back.

"Good answer," he replied as he leaned back down and kissed me hard. This was going to be a long and busy night, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.


	17. I Hate Interruptions

**A/N: Hello everyone! Yes I realize that this has taken far too long to be posted, but since we've been moving and getting settled in our new place, writing was not on tap for me. Either way, here it is, rather shorter than usual, but it's still here. I would probably call this the climax moment or rather close anyway. Hope you all enjoy! Oh and I'm having a girl! :D**

**Chapter 16: I Hate Interruptions**

I woke up about six in the morning feeling restless. I hadn't slept well despite being completely knackered and being in the best company in, well, forever. Something was nagging at the back of my mind and I simply couldn't place a finger on it. I sighed and rolled over to face Harry. At some point during the early morning hours he had rolled away from me. I think it was because we were rather sticky and hot from our activities and in dire need of another shower, not that I would put up a fight to be in the shower again with him. I looked back over at him and smiled. He looked so angelic and happy and I couldn't help but feel pretty proud of myself for putting that look on his face.

I had been really surprised by the development between us. I, of course, had thought about Harry in a sexual way before and I'm sure I'm not the first guy to do it either, but imagining and having the real thing, multiple times, is completely different. Harry completely bashed my fantasies into a million pieces and replaced them with extremely amazing ones. Gosh, I adored him, but love him? I wasn't sure. I was completely awake when he muttered those words to me. I had to fight to keep my eyes from flying open in shock. Had he really meant that he loved me or was he just caught up in the moment? We hadn't had sex yet, just some good snogging, so it was possible that he really did love me, but we've only been seeing each other for like three days.

I closed my eyes and scolded my self for analyzing the situation. I was always analyzing and I couldn't simply just enjoy something and be pleased at how it turned out. That's it, I'm stopping the analyzing and I'm just going to enjoy being here with Harry. As if he could hear my thinking, which I hope he couldn't, at least not all of it, he rolled over and snuggled up against me. I smiled and blushed as I wrapped my arms around him. Nothing could be more perfect than this so I drifted off to sleep again, completely happy.

**XXXX**

When I started waking again, I could have sworn I heard a woman calling out Harry's name. I thought I might be in the middle of wake and dreamland and what I was hearing was from my dream, but the sound grew closer and I could feel Harry stirring next to me.

"Harry James Potter, what in the hell-" the woman exclaimed as she pushed the door open. She cut herself off with a scream. My eyes flew open in fear because I thought that maybe Harry had died in his sleep or something and so when I turned to look at him, his eyes were wide with fear as well and I sighed in relief that he wasn't dead. I watched as he sat up quickly and looked over at his best friend.

"Mione, it's not what it looks like," Harry replied. I looked over at him in confusion. Not what it looks like? Hello, it's pretty damn obvious that our relationship has gone from very mild to extremely hot. Is he regretting this? I glanced back at Granger and noticed that she was most definitely displeased.

"Harry, what the fuck are you doing in bed with Malfoy?" she demanded.

"Mione, come on, you don't need to act like that about Draco," Harry defended. I smiled at him gratefully, but he didn't seem to notice. His focus was on Granger and he didn't look so good.

"Don't need to act like that? Harry, I thought you were going to take this slow? Are you out of your freaking mind? Unless, Malfoy, did you force him into this? Did you make Harry have…have…sex with you?" she demanded nearly spitting the last few words out in disgust.

I looked at her in complete shock. "What kind of person do you think I am?" I demanded sitting up fully and glaring at her.

"Oh, do you really want to go down that road, Malfoy? Let's see, oh, its all clear to me now. Your sudden interest in Harry. You just wanted to get him into bed so you used his breakdown to leap you to that goal," Hermione mused.

I scoffed loudly and glanced at Harry. He was looking as confused as ever and despite the situation, it was rather cute, but then his confused look fell on me and I could tell instantly that Granger's words were striking up something in his brain.

"You're funny, Granger. My goal was not to get Harry into bed. It never has been and it never will be. He needed someone to bring him back and that was me. You're just pissed because you and Weasley couldn't do it yourselves. How dare you put that doubt in Harry's mind?" I demanded angrily.

"Please, Malfoy, when have you ever thought of anyone, but yourself?" she responded icily.

I glared at her and turned to Harry. "Do you have anything to say about this, Harry?"

He looked between us several times before looking completely away from either one of us. "Draco, maybe you should go so I can talk to Mione alone?" he suggested quietly.

My heart literally broke at those words. Here I had completely opened up my mind and body and soul to him and he was kicking me out? He was kicking me out because his supposed best friend, who couldn't step up at his most dire need of help, was making shit up? I couldn't believe it. "Harry, you can't be serious," I whispered to him.

He looked over at me reluctantly. "Draco, I need to talk to Mione and it won't be easy if you're here. Please just go," he insisted.

I felt tears coming to my eyes as I stared at him a minute longer. I reached inside for my classic stone cold Malfoy face and flipped around in his bed before grabbing my boxers and jeans. I slipped them both on and then reached for my shirt, slipping it over my head. The tears that had shown in my eyes were threatening to fall, but I couldn't let either of them see what I was feeling.

I walked around Harry's bed and paused next to Granger. She wouldn't look at me, but I could see that she was nervous and possibly regretting what she had said about me. "He's all yours, Granger," I muttered as I walked past her.

"Wait, Draco!" Harry called out to me. I stopped, but didn't turn to look at him. "What do you mean by that?" he asked.

I glanced over my shoulder at him and shrugged. "Might mean that Granger is completely right and that I was just using you and I'm done, or it could mean that I'm simply leaving because you asked me too even though everything she is saying is utter shite. It's up to you to figure it out," I said with finality. I didn't even wait for a response. My heart was breaking even more and I couldn't possibly hold it together much longer.

I didn't wait for a response, but I vaguely heard a quiet sob that I knew was from Harry and walked out the door. I had quite the battle to win if Harry believed what Granger said. Would he believe me over her in the long run or would he simply stick by her word and we would be done? I really didn't want to think about that. I couldn't imagine losing Harry after I had given myself completely to him and possibly even fallen in love with him. I was still on the fence about that. I cared deeply for him and adored him, but was it love yet? It seemed that I needed to talk with someone and I just hoped that they were writing in their journal at the same time as me. That nagging feeling came back at the thought though, but I ignored it as I had more pressing matters to attend to.


	18. Tell Me You Love Me

**A/N: I love how I fully intended on finishing this story ages ago, but I never did. Well, here is one more chapter closer to finishing. My life revolves around my baby so writing hasn't been on my list, but alas, I have started writing again. This chapter is kinda sad, but you know how that goes with my stories. Sadness first, then happiness :) Enjoy!**

**Chapter 17: Tell Me You Love Me**

I sat there as I watched Draco give me a heart broken look before he walked out of my bedroom and probably out of my life for good. That thought made my gut clench so I jumped out of bed and gathered a sheet around my waist before running past Hermione and to my door, just in time to see the lift doors close. I ran out into the hall and started banging on the doors willing them to open, but they didn't. Draco wasn't coming back. He was gone for good, I just knew it. So instead of taking my anger out on myself, where it rightfully belonged, I took it out on the one person who had interrupted us.

I stormed back into my flat and slammed my door behind me. I heard a squeak coming from the hallway and I knew that Hermione was well aware of how angry I was. I could feel the static energy in the air around me and I knew she could feel it too. I stepped around the corner and was standing at the entrance of the hallway.

"Do you realize just what you've done?" I demanded through clenched teeth.

She stared at me, her bottom lip was quivering. "He's using you, Harry," she whispered.

"Using me? Are you fucking kidding me? Where is your proof that he's using me, huh? You saw us before we came up here and you were all cool with us making out and now all of a sudden he's using me?" I yelled.

Hermione sucked in a breath and pulled her shoulders back. "You can't just go from making out to sex in less than a couple of hours especially when you've only been seeing each other for a couple of days, if that. I think Malfoy's intentions were good at first, but then when he realized how vulnerable you were, he took advantage," she explained.

"He's not taking advantage of me! I pursued _him_ for sex, not the other way around! I can't believe that you'd do this to me!" I cried.

"You went after him for sex? Are you out of your mind? Do you even know where he's been?" she demanded.

"Of course I know where he's been. We grew up with him, remember?" I pointed out.

"I'm talking about in relationships. You haven't got a clue where he's been with other guys. He could have some nasty disease or something," Hermione responded.

"I am the first person he has ever had sex with and I was really hoping that I'd be the last, but no you had to come in and ruin it!" I yelled again.

"You kicked him out Harry, I didn't. If you were so sure that he's not using you, you wouldn't have sent him away. You wouldn't have listened to me. Somewhere in your mind you were thinking the same things I said. You cannot blame me for this," Hermione responded. I thought about that for a moment. Had I thought somewhere deep inside that Draco was using me? I suppose I probably did because of my own insecurities, but he was so genuine. He _is_ so genuine. He's not the same person as he was back in school. He reached out to me. He brought me back to life. At some point in my musings, I was sitting on my bed again. I looked up at Hermione.

"No, you are wrong. I do not think he's using me! I sent him away so I could tell you that for once I am thinking clearly! I love him, Hermione! I've loved him for a long time. My mind has been so muddled with drinking and self pity that everything was clouded including hiding what was truly wrong with me from my best friends. Draco has cleared my head. He has made me feel like myself again. Yes, we moved fast. Yes, we have gone into this super fast, but Hermione, it feels so right. I am mad at myself, not you. I should have told Draco this before we even got physical. We got caught up, and let sexual attraction come first instead of me telling him that I love him," I explained.

"Harry, I don't understand. How do you know that you love him? How could you possibly know?" Hermione questioned.

"How did you know that you loved Ron?" I countered.

She bit her lip before responding. "When I was at my lowest point and thought that I had lost him to Lavender Brown," she muttered. She sank down into the chair near my door. "I'm sorry, Harry. I get it now. Time doesn't matter, its how you feel inside. It's not like you just met him or anything. I guess, well, I realize that I haven't been the best friend that you needed. I got so caught up with myself and my life and I lost track of who else is important in my life besides Ron. I'm going to fix this for you. I have to," Hermione vowed.

Harry smiled at that, but shook his head. "No, Hermione, this isn't for you to fix. I should have been honest with Draco from the get go and told him how I felt before we got too physical. I need to fix this. I know you were just looking out for me."

Hermione smiled and stood. I stood as well and we hugged awkwardly since I was still holding up a sheet with one hand. She chuckled and looked down at the sheet. "For Merlin's sake Harry, get some clothes on," she teased. I looked down with a blush and laughed. I walked over to my bathroom and quickly slipped into some sweatpants and a t-shirt. I took a quick glance in the mirror, attempted to straighten my hair with no luck, quickly spelled my teeth clean, and walked out. "I hope he's not after you're looks," Hermione joked.

I shrugged. "Who cares? This is me, the real me. Now I'm off to apologize and tell him how I feel," I replied. I gave Hermione a quick hug and a kiss to her cheek before I walked out of my room and out of my flat, heading for the lifts. I realized as I stepped through the lift doors that I had never been to Draco's flat before. It didn't matter; I had to get this straightened out. I wasn't going to lose him. Not now.

When the doors opened, I suddenly felt very nervous. What if it was too late? What if I had hurt him so bad by kicking him out when I did that he wouldn't even listen to me now? I had to take a chance. I couldn't be scared anymore. I simply couldn't.

I knocked on his door and waited. I fidgeted and realized that I had no shoes on. All well, it didn't matter. All that mattered right now was Draco. I knocked again, wondering if he knew it was me on the other side and refused to answer it. I heard light footsteps on the other side and then I saw the knob turning. I looked up as it opened and my eyes locked with Draco's steely gray eyes that had no warmth in them. This wasn't starting out so good.

"Hey," I muttered. I shifted uneasily and dropped my gaze. I hadn't seen that look in years.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" Draco questioned.

"Could I come in and talk?" I asked. I pretended that the use of my surname didn't hurt, but it definitely did.

Draco stared at me. He gave a nonchalant shrug and opened his door wider, gesturing with his hand for me to come in. This definitely wasn't going good. I looked around his flat and noticed how neat it was. Nothing like the disarray of my flat. His flat felt like a museum, which really didn't surprise me considering he grew up in the Manor. He shut the door behind me and walked out of the room. He went through some French doors that led to another room of his place, which was huge, I might add. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to follow, but I did anyway.

I stepped into this new room and it was nothing like the part of the flat I had just seen. This was his bedroom and it was neat, but you could tell it was lived in. This was more like the Draco I knew. It made me smile. I noticed something lying open on his bed. I couldn't see it too well, but it looked vaguely familiar. He was still staring at me.

"Are you going to tell me why you're here or are you just going to take up my time?" he asked.

I fidgeted again and looked away. I caught a slight smile out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned to look back at him, the smile was gone. I sighed and took a seat on his bed. I got a better look at the open item on his bed and my stomach dropped. I looked up at Draco with a glare. He looked startled and looked at what was on his bed.

"What?" he asked.

I reached for the item and my eyes widened. "What the hell are you doing with my journal?" I demanded as I picked it up.

Draco looked confused and then it looked as if he had connected the dots to a difficult puzzle. "That is _my_ journal," he responded. He stepped towards me, reaching for the journal. I scooted back quickly, shaking my head angrily. I glanced at the pages and saw my words printed there.

"This is not _your_ journal. It's mine. Those are my words! Why would you take my journal?" I demanded. Then it hit me. If this were my journal, I would see Hopeful's words, not my own. I looked up at Draco in confusion. "How do you have Hopeful's journal? How did you even know who he is?"

"Because that's my journal," he replied.

"Your journal? I've been writing to you about you this entire time?" I asked even more confused than ever.

"Yes, I guess you have," he replied.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded.

"How was I supposed to know that I was writing to you? I didn't even begin thinking that you were Demure until I saw your journal on your nightstand. You called me Hopeful?" Draco responded.

I blushed slightly, but it didn't last because I was getting angry again. "Yes, you sounded hopeful that things would work out with Leone, or me, as it stands. You called me demure," I pointed out.

"Yeah, because it suited you. You were too shy to tell Silver Angel how you felt which I suppose as it turns out, you were too shy to tell me how you felt," he responded.

"Well, what do you expect? You spent so many years being my enemy, that telling you how I felt could have seriously backfired," I replied.

"Is that what happened when you confessed how you felt yesterday?" Draco asked.

"No, but now I feel like it is and now I'm not sure what to do here," I replied.

"Why do you think it's backfired? You were the one who kicked me out, not the other way around," Draco pointed out.

"I kicked you out so I could talk to Hermione alone. I came here to tell you that I love you, but I can see now that there was no point. We had a little hiccup and you were ready to call us off. You automatically assumed that I was siding with Hermione, when in actuality; I just wanted to talk to her and explain how you make me feel. I guess I had assumed that you felt the same. My mistake," I replied. I turned around and walked towards his front door.

"Harry, wait," Draco called out.

I stopped and turned to look at him. "If you aren't going to tell me you love me too, then there is nothing more to say."

He stared at me, "Harry, I, well, I…" he trailed off, unable to form the words. My shoulders sagged and I felt tears at the corner of my eyes. I shook my head and let a few fall before I wiped my eyes and looked him square in the face.

"Good bye, Draco," I whispered before I turned and walked out his front door without looking back.


	19. Is This the End?

**A/N: Well this is the end of this story. It took forever and well, I really had like everything done on it, but I didn't think I was done, until today. So here it is. I love this story and I hope all of you will like the ending!**

**Chapter 18: Is This the End?**

The lift doors closed on Harry and I realized that this was probably how it looked to him just a mere two hours before. Why couldn't I just tell him I loved him? I questioned. It's not like it wasn't true or was it? Do I love him? I didn't know. I shut my flat door and walked back into my bedroom. I looked at the journal with a glare. I was never writing in one again. It only caused problems. Okay, so only in this instance it does, but still, I was never writing in one again.

I climbed onto my bed and sat against the headboard. I looked around my room, replaying what had happened there. I didn't want Harry's first time in my room to be bad. I wanted it to be good, very good. Unfortunately, I don't always get what I want. I closed my eyes. I had to think this through. Was I afraid to be in love? That question flitted through my mind as I fell asleep.

**XXXX**

When I awoke sometime later, it was to a banging at my door. My flat was completely dark. I had been asleep for a lot longer than I planned. The happenings of that morning came rushing back to the forefront of my mind and I jumped out of bed, hoping that it was Harry at my door. I jogged to my door and pulled it open without looking to see who it was.

"Harry, I…" I began, but stopped when it definitely wasn't Harry on the other side. "Granger, what are you doing here?" I questioned. She looked worried and on the verge of tears. She looked past me and into my dark flat.

"Is Harry here with you?" she asked.

"No. He left hours ago. You haven't seen him?" I asked.

Hermione shook her head and wiped at her eyes. "Did you guys have another fight?"

"No, but I didn't tell him something that he wanted me to," I replied ashamedly.

Hermione nodded knowingly. "Draco, just so you know, I was wrong. You weren't using Harry. I also know that you love him even if you don't know yourself. I'm sorry. Let me know if you hear or see Harry, I'm worried about him."

"Isn't he in his flat?" I asked her. I had heard what she said, but I was more concerned about where Harry was.

"No, after he left I went back to my flat and after a few hours I went to see how he was doing. He didn't answer the door so I assumed he was still with you. I left, but something nagged at me so I came back to check again and when he didn't answer this time I went inside. The place was cleared out. I mean his clothes were gone, a lot of his books and movies, his coat. He is definitely not home and I don't think he's coming back any time soon.

"Did he leave anything behind that might suggest where he went?" I demanded. I had a sick feeling in my stomach. Where could he have gone?

Hermione brought her hand up and showed me what was left behind. It was the journal, the other half to mine. It was _my_ other half's. I took it from her and opened it up. I saw Harry's first entry again and then I read through what I had written to him. I realized that I was scared. I was scared to fall in love, and feel the weakness that I always associated with love.

I was about to close the journal when something caught my eye. I turned the page and my eyes fell on a new entry. I gulped nervously as I began reading the entry.

_I imagined things going different then they went to today, way different. I realized that I loved someone today, truly loved someone, madly and deeply loved someone for real, but as it turns out, the feeling is not mutual. I thought that he would and could love me, but I guess I was wrong._

I walked into my room and grabbed my journal. I flipped it open to the first entry where Harry's thoughts had shown up in my own and where we began talking back and forth. I read both sides of the conversation. Harry loved me. He loved me unconditionally. I had no reason to be scared. Love was pure and made a person whole and now that Harry wasn't here with me, I realized how empty I felt. I loved him. I truly loved him. I started to smile then and then I began laughing. I turned to face Hermione as I was laughing. She looked back at me in confusion.

"I love him. I love him!" I exclaimed. Hermione stared at me for a moment and then smiled.

"I know you do, but he doesn't," she reminded me.

I nodded and started racking my brain for where he might be. I heard a buzzing noise and looked at Hermione. She pulled out a muggle telephone from her pocket and answered it. I turned my back on her to give her some privacy.

"What?... Are you sure it's him?... Oh gods," I heard Hermione say. I turned around to look at her and she looked horrified. That sick feeling came back. I watched as she closed the phone. She shook her head and brought a hand to her mouth.

"Hermione, what is the matter?" I demanded.

"I know where Harry is," she whispered.

I scrunched my eyebrows together. "Where?"

"He's on the roof," she replied.

My eyes widened. I didn't wait for her to say anything more. I ran out of my bedroom and out my front door. I flew towards the door at the end of the hallway and took the steps to the roof two at a time. When I burst through the door with a clang I could barely see. My eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness on the rooftop, but when they did adjust, I felt my stomach drop. Harry was sitting on the lip of the roof, his legs dangling over the side.

I rushed towards him. "Harry, what the hell are you doing?" I demanded. I saw him startle and I stopped in my tracks. If he was planning to jump, surprising him like I did wasn't the best idea.

He didn't look at me. "I'm getting some perspective," he replied absently.

"You needed to do that up here? Are you crazy?" I demanded. My heart was pounding and the sick feeling would not go away.

"Well, I always did my best thinking when I flew, when I was high above the world. I could forget my problems for the time that I was up there. I figured that sitting up here would work the same and it does," he said. His voice sounded off to me and I wondered if he'd been drinking again.

"Harry, could you get down from there so we could talk?" I asked nervously.

"What is there to talk about?" he questioned.

"Oh, I don't know maybe how you shouldn't jump off the roof. That might be a start," I suggested.

"I'm not going to jump off the roof, Draco. I told you, I'm getting some perspective. After leaving your place I decided that I needed to get out of here. You know, get away from everyone who is in my past. Start new. I was stupid to think that love could pull through for me again, like I could actually love and be loved. I guess I'll just leave and start over again. Maybe I'll have luck then," he replied. He turned his body and jumped down from the ledge. I sagged my shoulders in relief.

"Harry, don't leave. I don't want that," I said.

He shrugged. "Draco, you want me, you don't want me. You can't have it both ways. I told you I loved you and you don't love me back. I don't want to accept it, but I will because I love you. I think its better this way. We won't have to deal with awkward moments in the halls," he responded.

"But I do love you," I told him. That stopped him and I saw his nonchalant mask falter.

"No, you don't love me. You told me that earlier. You're just saying this now because I'm leaving," he responded, his voice quivering.

"I didn't say I didn't love you, I just didn't know what to say. Harry, I do love you, but it scares me. It scares me to admit to the weakness of love. But I do love you, more than I ever thought was possible," I explained.

Harry stared at me and then his shoulders began shaking as tears filled his eyes. "Loving someone isn't weak. It's not loving someone that makes you weak," he whispered.

I nodded. "I know that, but you didn't have to leave to make me realize that," I teased.

Harry grinned. "Would you have come to the conclusion on your own if Hermione hadn't come to you?"

I stared at him. This had been a set up? I narrowed my gaze which only made him grin even more which was infuriating. "You set me up?"

He shrugged. "Sort of, but not completely."

"Sort of, but not completely? What does that mean?" I asked him.

"Well, I really was leaving to go to Grimmauld for a few days to give you some space and I may have cleared out my apartment of some more things than necessary. I wasn't really expecting Hermione to go in and check on me. I took more stuff out in case you wanted to talk more or something. It was a low blow, but it worked in the long run," he replied. He looked as if he had discovered electricity or something.

"How very Slytherin of you," I mused.

He grinned even wider. "You know, I was almost sorted into Slytherin. We could have been housemates," he responded cheekily.

He was damn cute when he was being cunning. I couldn't stop myself from smiling at him. "We could be housemates now?" I suggested, only slightly joking. I didn't expect him to go for it.

"You know I don't want to just be housemates," he replied. He gave me a cocky grin that nearly made me melt right then.

"I don't want to just be housemates either," I responded as I took a step toward him. He took a step towards me too.

"What do you want to be then?" he asked as he cocked his head to the side.

He was too damn cute for his own good. "I want you. That's all I want," I whispered. We were standing mere inches apart. His emerald eyes were shining and I knew more than ever that I loved him.

He closed the distance between us and pressed his lips against mine. I didn't hesitate to pull him as close as possible to me. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he wrapped his arms around mine. We pulled apart for a moment and looked at each other. I brought a hand up to his face and smoothed a thumb across his lips.

"I know this sounds bad, but I'm glad you had a breakdown," I whispered.

Harry chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Me too," he replied.

"What now?" I asked.

"I don't know, I suppose I should put my stuff back in my flat. That might be a good start," Harry responded.

"Or you could stay the night with me," I suggested with a sly grin.

Harry lifted an eyebrow and grinned. "I like that idea," he said quietly. I grinned and leaned down to kiss him again. When we broke apart again, we both turned and started heading for the door. I looped an arm around his shoulder and kissed the side of his head.

"So tell me more about how you could have been in Slytherin," I said.

Harry chuckled and shook his head. Things were definitely going to be perfect.

THE END


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